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Self Advocating.

Hellbell

I'm going to do something that scares the pants off of me, but I must be assertive instead of sucking it up.

I'm seeing my mental health coordinator on Friday and going to try to tell him that half the time I don't understand what he is talking about. That I have been masking and pretending to understand certain aspects of what he talks about but I don't. I've gotten so good at fooling people after 62 yrs that I understand NT language and social expectations that when I don't I know how to act like I do. After a session with him I do glean some insights but most of the time I walk out of there and ask myself, what was that about? and I don't remember a thing he said.

I have expressed that I feel mental health services cater for NT outcomes but don't amend talk therapies for ND people.

I'm going to tell him that I feel like a fraud. He wants me to talk about trauma and quite honestly I want my list of traumas to stay in the past as it just re-traumatises me for weeks if I go near it.

I'm seeing the Social Worker on Monday to talk how I'm thinking and see if there is another mental health person who is autistic aware? that understands the processing issues people like me face as I don't think, no I know, that my behaviours aren't noticed by him and that he is coming at it from a NT training mindset as I feel I'm expected to respond in a certain way which is why I'm not progressing in my view.

Going to NAS meetings has opened my eyes up to what being with other auties is like and has made me rethink my present support system. So I'm going to get brave and question it.

Anyone else found this? That mental health services are so undertrained to our needs, reactions, thinking styles etc?

Hellbell

  • in reply to Hellbell

    ah ok so you found many people with autism relatable? I have too, in my limited experience.

  • in reply to Andy-Zan

    Mixing with my tribe and talking about similar experiences and the support that I have had put in place. The training they have is bare minimum to say the least when I want someone who is autistic themselves or at least trained or studied autism to an understanding level. Living with alexithymia is often not taken into account or even noticed.

  • Hello, there is NO one on this earth who will tell you about you.

  • You're very brave, and I wish you the best of luck.

  • Hellbell said:
    Going to NAS meetings has opened my eyes up to what being with other auties is like and has made me rethink my present support system.

    What do you mean by this? Just curious

  • in reply to moon

    It’s all to do with confidence and believing in myself as I am and not what’s expected. After years of doing what’s expected it’s not easy to break out of it after 60 odd years not being listened to or understood. Now I understand me and I’m ok the way I am and all the research and other auties that have helped me, I feel strong enough to say what’s on my mind. 
    today NAS released the new strategy so I will pointing the mental health advice booklet for professionals his way, that was fortunate..lol

  • Big thumbs up from me. Good luck.

    I am an acomplished masker like you, but one thing I learned in decades of dealing with my wife's complex physical & mental health needs... it's worth being totally & unashamedly honest in therapy... well all medical appointments really.

    If you are not telling them how you really feel, how can they respond appropriately?

  • Hellbell,

    When he asks you to tell him what traumatizes you tell him the way he's treating you. He won't know what he's doing wrong and then you'll be able to take the lead of the meeting and say the neurotypical way of doing things is not always suitable for us, we've got to alert them to the errors so things will be corrected and done in a suitable way. 

    I spell out to neurotypical people who look down on us that the problem is not autism, but is cultural prejudice by the people who refer to themselves as "normal people."

    I point out when they create normal they create abnormal at the same time. Then anyone who does not fit the standard norm is margianilized out of the community. Here's how I write it;

    "Normal People" = Division among the human race

    Division = Discrimination, Cultural Prejudice, Racism and Conflict among the human race. 

    We can look back through history to see the shameful truth that standard norms are the cause of these offences. In the 1960 African Americans been called not as smart as white people, the LGBTQ+ population described as people with psychiatric health disorders.

    All groups that have been margianilized out throughout history have all been treat in discriminatory and stereotypical ways. Share with him that the basis of calling an autistic brain pathological is cultural prejudice.