It's Not Cool To be Autistic

I miss out on just as much as you've mentioned, the reason I prefer to be autistic is I have good things in my life that I like that I wouldn't have if I were not autistic. I don't look at autism as nothing but a list of "deficits".

I look at what's good about my life and what seems not so good. I look at what's good about a nonautistic person's life, and what's not good about a nonautistic person's life.

Then out of the two I would rather have the difficulties of my autistic life. If I were not autistic I would probably be having the financial struggles I see others having, I would probably be scared to appear different like most NTs in crowds, I wouldn't be as diligent in my interests.

I see just as much to be grateful for.

But when I see my daughter trying to communicate to her son, and there's just no reaction, no bond.

I swear you could leave him with complete strangers and he wouldn't be bothered.

He gets so infuriated because he can't communicate.

Thankfully not my grandson but; skull caps, ear defenders.

Surely you can't favour that over not being autistic? You'll probably say that you're referring to high functioning only, but the problem is it all gets lumped.

Even with high functioning, the daily challenge of buses, supermarkets, shops, works people visiting the house etc. The list is endless. No, not for me.....but sadly it is.

I'd actually challenge anyone who thinks autism is a cool or trendy badge to wear, something to bring up as an interesting topic for discussion; something to be proud of.....go get a second opinion on your original diagnosis.

I get sick and tired of you lot and your assumptions about autistic people, you've confessed your daughter's son can't communicate and it makes him infuriated.

How do you know that it's not something else infuriating him, like how neurotypicals force us to communicate your way, conform to what you want even though it means harming us, harming your grandson?

Are you communicating with him in a way he understands? Back at school they were unverbal teenagers, I communicated with them in the way they understand with faith in them, by the end of the year they became verbal teenagers even though everyone else thought that's impossible, I were mocked at first because of my faith in them. So many like yourself and those who mocked me simply have no faith in who you claim you love and you sabotage them from what they can achieve with the right support.

When you say you wish your son and grandson were not autistic you are literally saying;

"I wish these children did not exist, I wish I had another (nonautistic) son and grandson instead." Autism is literally part of your son's and grandson's identity.

Concerning reaction and bond, "not the reaction and bond I want." is what you mean. Those of us autistic simply do not communicate and interact the way you want then you abuse us with things like ABA to get what you want not caring what the autistic person wants and guess what? That's infuriating for us.

Concerning challenges, we simply have different challenges to you, not more, not less. The very challenges you've listed I live with, thanks to my faithful loving father who loves his autistic son as his autistic son and doesn't want to change a thing about me, I have been able to shape my life into a life I can enjoy with the support and love I desire and methods to cope with my difficulties. There's actually people very jealous of my life.

I walk around wearing t-shirts saying I'm Autistic and Neurodiversity, as I'm writing this I'm wearing a shirt with the rainbow coloured infinite sign which is the neurodiversity paradigm logo.

I am not referring to high-functioning, I'm referring to Autism all over the spectrum, just like those unverbal teenagers I helped become verbal, if you lot would stop it being so doubtful and faithless in them we could help them as I did. 

Biology teaches us the only genetic information that survives is genetic information the species requires, including the autism gene. Pathology has no scientific basis, the basis of pathology, discrimination and racism is cultural prejudice.

Great ideas don't come from average minds, average ideas come from average minds, like the average idea those teenagers would never be able to speak, I came up with the idea to have faith in them. 

I get sick and tired of you lot and your assumptions about autistic people, you've confessed your daughter's son can't communicate and it makes him infuriated.

How do you know that it's not something else infuriating him, like how neurotypicals force us to communicate your way, conform to what you want even though it means harming us, harming your grandson?

Are you communicating with him in a way he understands? Back at school they were unverbal teenagers, I communicated with them in the way they understand with faith in them, by the end of the year they became verbal teenagers even though everyone else thought that's impossible, I were mocked at first because of my faith in them. So many like yourself and those who mocked me simply have no faith in who you claim you love and you sabotage them from what they can achieve with the right support.

When you say you wish your son and grandson were not autistic you are literally saying;

"I wish these children did not exist, I wish I had another (nonautistic) son and grandson instead." Autism is literally part of your son's and grandson's identity.

Concerning reaction and bond, "not the reaction and bond I want." is what you mean. Those of us autistic simply do not communicate and interact the way you want then you abuse us with things like ABA to get what you want not caring what the autistic person wants and guess what? That's infuriating for us.

Concerning challenges, we simply have different challenges to you, not more, not less. The very challenges you've listed I live with, thanks to my faithful loving father who loves his autistic son as his autistic son and doesn't want to change a thing about me, I have been able to shape my life into a life I can enjoy with the support and love I desire and methods to cope with my difficulties. There's actually people very jealous of my life.

I walk around wearing t-shirts saying I'm Autistic and Neurodiversity, as I'm writing this I'm wearing a shirt with the rainbow coloured infinite sign which is the neurodiversity paradigm logo.

I am not referring to high-functioning, I'm referring to Autism all over the spectrum, just like those unverbal teenagers I helped become verbal, if you lot would stop it being so doubtful and faithless in them we could help them as I did. 

Biology teaches us the only genetic information that survives is genetic information the species requires, including the autism gene. Pathology has no scientific basis, the basis of pathology, discrimination and racism is cultural prejudice.

Great ideas don't come from average minds, average ideas come from average minds, like the average idea those teenagers would never be able to speak, I came up with the idea to have faith in them. 

The first thing about your grandson that I find that is concerning, is not his autism, but your negative perception about his autism, because you've had a bad relationship with your own, and your bad experiences filters through when looking at your grandson, and you believe that autism automatically means that he'll have a bad future, but you don't know how his future will be like (hopefully you're not a fortune teller) and instead of setting his future into stone, let him be a happy two year old, a happy 10 year old, a happy 20 year old, and so on, concentrate on his happiness and well being throughout his life, no matter what he has.

He's a two year old, he's playing with toys, and he's interacting and getting his mind engaged in something at least. Even if he's not giving much social cues like eye contact and communication, it does not automatically mean that he's cold and clueless about his surroundings, he could very much enjoy the presence of mother being around him, but prefers to interact with the toys by himself. 

And even if he's nonverbal, there's alternative ways of communicating other than through speech, like auto-speakers, and sign language. 

You having autism does not mean that you can't get promoted. You got hired, you got a job, you got a relationship, you had a family, you have a grandchild now. Oh please, you are very successful. You've surpassed many milestones in life, even with your struggles with autism. And I'm sure that your grandson will go through struggles as well, but hopefully he'll have the support he needs to live a fulfilling life.

I did read your entire response before responding to you. By "you lot" I'm referring to those of you who are full of assumptions thinking you can read minds.

Saying you would prefer a nonautistic son and grandson is the same as saying you would prefer a different son and grandson and disown the children you have now. If you love them you would love everything about them including the identity their autism gives them, just as my dad loves me that even if he could, he would not change me from autistic to nonautistic because he loves me for who I am.

"I can see my grandson has far more challenges ahead"

How when you can't read his mind nor tell the future? Just because you find something challenging doesn't mean your grandson will, what others find challenging I don't find challenging at all.

Both my nextdoor neighbors have autistic grandsons, one of them is unverbal and he has no problem with been unverbal, he always walks on his toes and doesn't find it a problem.

Autism doesn't give any twist of character because autism is our character, autism is our identity. Autism effects the way we think, our choices are determined by how we think, and it's our choices that make us who we are. 

If you were not autistic life would not be any easier for you, don't bother thinking life is hard for us and easy for nonautistic people, nonautistic people have just as many challenges as autistic people. 

Sorry that you would prefer a different son and grandson, sorry you can't accept who they are. Remove the illusions you've blinded yourself with, all you believe you believe because you've taught yourself to believe that. The only things people dislike is that which they have taught themselves to dislike including you and I, like I taught myself to hate violation and hypocrisy. Remember me saying my neighbor has an unverbal grandson? He doesn't find been unverbal a problem because neither his family nor he has taught him to see it as a problem.

Daniel, if you are going to respond, I'd appreciate it if you read my post in full first.

I am autistic so not sure who you mean by "you lot."

I love my grandson. I don't love him any less for being autistic, but having lived the journey myself, I'm not going to lie and say I'm pleased he's autistic. I'd love him if he had some medical disorder, but in the same way, I'd prefer it if he hadn't.  He's only two, so not sure how you suggest I communicate with him differently at this age other than engaging with him, playing with toys and things he likes. It's a very one-sided and cold situation. It's the same when my daughter interacts with him, and that's hard for her.

I'm pleased you want to be autistic. If that has worked for you, great. All I can say from my personal experience of nearly 60 years living with autism is I'd prefer not to be autistic. I've struggled. I can see my grandson has far more challenges ahead than I've had to live with.

I'm simply saying I find it offensive when people peddle it as something that gives them a cool twist to their character.