My on again off again boyfriend has Aspergers. We are both in our 40s. He was diagnosed as a child but didn’t have much awareness of how it affects him until we began dating, because he says he was just used to it. We both love each other dearly and are very comfortable communicating our feelings and daily challenges. By his words I’m the love of his life and he just can’t imagine loving me more but he is also terrified of hurting me. He says he is crazy. I hate that term. I try and reassure him that his issues do not scare me. However, it is a rollercoaster with him because he periodically freaks out saying ‘he isn’t ready’ for a relationship because he he thinks he is crazy and we have to break up because he ‘just isn’t ready’. When this happens , we are both miserable and we get back together. He says he wants to be married but just isn’t ready because he perceives himself as crazy and doesn’t know if he can ever be fixed. He overthinks all the responsibilities of marriage. How can we get past this? Is this a time thing? His issues don’t scare me. I am being candid here and try not to pressure him. I love him with all my heart and would marry him in a heartbeat if he was ready.
All advice appreciated. thank you.