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Wanting to socialise and talk to people but at the same time I don’t because I’m terrible at it and i just don’t know what to do or say

O

Not sure really what to get out of posting this but I wanted to maybe just strike up a conversation about it. (Ironically enough)

I love being on my own and doing my own thing but sometimes I wish I had a friend even just one. I LITERALLY do not have one friend in this world I have my family members but I’m really not that close to any of them my cousins who are my age have their own lives and friends they don’t have time for me.

im just not good at talking to people I find chit chat convos really hard and boring I never know what to say I’d probably say being left alone with someone is one of biggest fears and that in turn makes trying to speak to girls hard too for the above reasons.

I would imagine there’s a lot of people on here that feel the same and have the same experience it’s probably one of the most common “things” amongst people on spectrum.

so yeah I just wanted to make a post about it obviously feel free to chat below.

O :)

Parents

  • I'm the same. I can't make small talk and I don't know how to talk to people or maintain a conversation. I never had a friend either. I struggle with what is appropriate to say and most of the time I say nothing. It takes me 6 months or a year to feel comfortable enough around someone to lower my guard and come out of all the shells I've built around myself.

    Part of the problem is I have basically no interest in people (only in things), but I have found that 99% of what people talk about is related to people, what they are doing, what they like doing, who is into who, what people are doing at the weekend, what celebrities are doing, etc. It is not interesting to me and I know nothing about it.

    The inverse is also true. I have some really specific interests that I have encyclopedic knowledge of but I have never met anyone who is interested in them. People only want to talk about people and their opinions and activities.

    I also prefer to be alone the majority of the time and being around people is unpleasant for me, so it is frustrating that I also feel lonely! What a cruel affliction. Despite being autistic, I am still human and still need companionship and to be accepted.

    I'm so starved of oxytocin that I take really long showers. I was thinking of getting a dog to fill the void but I doubt my ability to look after it. A few times I even considered paying a prostitute to hug me, but I know that would be sad and pathetic so never did it.

    The only outlet I have to give me some oxytocin and feel like I'm interacting with people is online video games. Particularly any game in which you can play as a healer or that involves a high degree of teamwork. I don't even need to talk, just the action of playing with and helping my team is enough, although it's only a simulacrum of real human contact.

Reply

  • I'm the same. I can't make small talk and I don't know how to talk to people or maintain a conversation. I never had a friend either. I struggle with what is appropriate to say and most of the time I say nothing. It takes me 6 months or a year to feel comfortable enough around someone to lower my guard and come out of all the shells I've built around myself.

    Part of the problem is I have basically no interest in people (only in things), but I have found that 99% of what people talk about is related to people, what they are doing, what they like doing, who is into who, what people are doing at the weekend, what celebrities are doing, etc. It is not interesting to me and I know nothing about it.

    The inverse is also true. I have some really specific interests that I have encyclopedic knowledge of but I have never met anyone who is interested in them. People only want to talk about people and their opinions and activities.

    I also prefer to be alone the majority of the time and being around people is unpleasant for me, so it is frustrating that I also feel lonely! What a cruel affliction. Despite being autistic, I am still human and still need companionship and to be accepted.

    I'm so starved of oxytocin that I take really long showers. I was thinking of getting a dog to fill the void but I doubt my ability to look after it. A few times I even considered paying a prostitute to hug me, but I know that would be sad and pathetic so never did it.

    The only outlet I have to give me some oxytocin and feel like I'm interacting with people is online video games. Particularly any game in which you can play as a healer or that involves a high degree of teamwork. I don't even need to talk, just the action of playing with and helping my team is enough, although it's only a simulacrum of real human contact.

Children
  • in reply to Untoward
    Untoward said:
    I also prefer to be alone the majority of the time and being around people is unpleasant for me, so it is frustrating that I also feel lonely! What a cruel affliction. Despite being autistic, I am still human and still need companionship and to be accepted.

    I feel that a lot that’s one of the things that gets me down quite a bit