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Wanting to socialise and talk to people but at the same time I don’t because I’m terrible at it and i just don’t know what to do or say

O

Not sure really what to get out of posting this but I wanted to maybe just strike up a conversation about it. (Ironically enough)

I love being on my own and doing my own thing but sometimes I wish I had a friend even just one. I LITERALLY do not have one friend in this world I have my family members but I’m really not that close to any of them my cousins who are my age have their own lives and friends they don’t have time for me.

im just not good at talking to people I find chit chat convos really hard and boring I never know what to say I’d probably say being left alone with someone is one of biggest fears and that in turn makes trying to speak to girls hard too for the above reasons.

I would imagine there’s a lot of people on here that feel the same and have the same experience it’s probably one of the most common “things” amongst people on spectrum.

so yeah I just wanted to make a post about it obviously feel free to chat below.

O :)

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  • I'm the same. The only difference is that for me I'm not interested in socialising. Socialising for me means hanging out with other people, with no purpose, making small talk and being bored and then exhausted.  I'd take a closer look at what you actually mean by socialising. 

    I meet a small group of people to make music (on a fairly regular basis) but we don't meet up to chit chat or gossip, or talk about our lives, we meet up because we all have a common purpose to make music.  Because we're doing what we all love doing, we naturally share some personal stuff from time to time, and we do laugh and joke around a lot, and we are all relaxed in each other's company, but these are not the reasons we meet up, these are all byproducts of enjoying what we're doing together. 

    So, rather than think of socialising, think of finding people with common interests and meet up with them. Don't meet up just to socialise, but to actually do something or create something. And, you'll find that all the things you talk about wanting to do will happen naturally and you won't have to force them. 

    Sometimes, friends invite me out to watch a movie or eat something, which on its own is something I'd much rather do alone. In order for me to be able to go, I have to give myself a concrete purpose for going. Without a purpose, I can't do it. Why would I anyway? And if a friend wants to relax, then that is our purpose, so I look for activities that are relaxing.

    I hope my ramblings make sense.

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  • I'm the same. The only difference is that for me I'm not interested in socialising. Socialising for me means hanging out with other people, with no purpose, making small talk and being bored and then exhausted.  I'd take a closer look at what you actually mean by socialising. 

    I meet a small group of people to make music (on a fairly regular basis) but we don't meet up to chit chat or gossip, or talk about our lives, we meet up because we all have a common purpose to make music.  Because we're doing what we all love doing, we naturally share some personal stuff from time to time, and we do laugh and joke around a lot, and we are all relaxed in each other's company, but these are not the reasons we meet up, these are all byproducts of enjoying what we're doing together. 

    So, rather than think of socialising, think of finding people with common interests and meet up with them. Don't meet up just to socialise, but to actually do something or create something. And, you'll find that all the things you talk about wanting to do will happen naturally and you won't have to force them. 

    Sometimes, friends invite me out to watch a movie or eat something, which on its own is something I'd much rather do alone. In order for me to be able to go, I have to give myself a concrete purpose for going. Without a purpose, I can't do it. Why would I anyway? And if a friend wants to relax, then that is our purpose, so I look for activities that are relaxing.

    I hope my ramblings make sense.

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