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Recently diagnosed, wondering if other people have the same experience?

StayingAnon

Hi. I completed the diagnosis process back in March and got diagnosed as being on the spectrum and was told I would be classed as having Asperger's (but it's not a formal diagnosis anymore).

I've always felt different, generally haven't fitted in and always felt separate to everyone else. I have a long list of behaviours and social difficulties which I think support the diagnosis. However, I wanted to see if other people have experienced the following ...?

Family and friends not recognising the diagnosis

Friends that I spoke to before the diagnosis, my parents, brother and sister all felt strongly that I was not Autistic / on the spectrum and have pretty much discounted it completely after the diagnosis.

I'm relieved (in a way) to have the diagnosis as it explains a lot for me, but most people around me don't seem to agree that I could have Asperger's. Most people, aside from a few, have either said "of course not", or not really bought into it.

Being okay as a child

As a child I didn't really make friends with other children and I feel that I went through my school life mostly keeping to myself. I always felt different and spent a lot of time playing by myself or reading. I did play outside with other kids, but I know I rarely connected with any apart from one or two.

I spoke to my parents today and their view is that I was a content child, just generally quiet. I didn't have meltdowns, I got on okay with my family and was pretty easy going.

I don't understand how I was relatively okay as a child, but have struggled a lot as an adult. Anyone else have that experience?

Social struggles getting harder with age

I seem to have struggled with communications more as an adult than as a kid. I have had a pretty good career in IT, but been socially awkward throughout. I've always found the social side quite hard most of the time, but I've gotten by. Early in my career I was regularly asked to speak louder and eye contact has always been difficult, but again, I've gotten by.

I struggle to talk to people all day and start shutting down in the afternoon if I've had to. I don't laugh at the bosses jokes, but know that I'm supposed to, like everyone else. I don't like work social events and avoid them at all costs (unless it's a small group who I feel close to). I regularly seem to upset or offend someone, but don't mean to. And on conference calls I either don't say enough, or I launch into long monologues and often forget that there are other people on the call (which is weird and a bit funny).

Is anyone else recognising behaviours pre or post diagnosis and then having issues with them becoming more impactful with age?

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Parents

  • Hello : ) i was recently diagnosed in May and i am a woman in my mid thirties. I didnt tell too many people before my diagnosis but i did tell my mum and she was very quiet about the whole thing (like she didnt think there was anything in it but she didnt want to come out and say that). After diagnosis she seemed surprised but supportive in that she believed me as she trusts doctors. I was also told by the doctor that i most likely have ADHD, which i mentioned to her at a later date and she just said 'i dont think so darling'. I replied, 'read about it mum' and she came back to me saying 'oh, i do see what you mean'. 

    I have told quite a few people now but like you i get a range of reactions. I think the bottom line is people dont really know enough about it to be able to identify it in me, in addition to the fact that im good at hiding it. No one wants to constantly hear my internal chaos so they dony know what i feel. I let them off because even i didnt know enough about it to recognise it in myself until i read an incredibly huge amount about ASD in adult women and identified with it. 

    I think also its important to select who you tell and always be ready for an unsupportive reaction. If you think about it, it reflects badly on them that they react like that and anyway its irrelevant what THEY think  as they arent qualified to really have an opinion on whether you are or not. 

    I hope this helps and you continue making positive progress : )

Reply

  • Hello : ) i was recently diagnosed in May and i am a woman in my mid thirties. I didnt tell too many people before my diagnosis but i did tell my mum and she was very quiet about the whole thing (like she didnt think there was anything in it but she didnt want to come out and say that). After diagnosis she seemed surprised but supportive in that she believed me as she trusts doctors. I was also told by the doctor that i most likely have ADHD, which i mentioned to her at a later date and she just said 'i dont think so darling'. I replied, 'read about it mum' and she came back to me saying 'oh, i do see what you mean'. 

    I have told quite a few people now but like you i get a range of reactions. I think the bottom line is people dont really know enough about it to be able to identify it in me, in addition to the fact that im good at hiding it. No one wants to constantly hear my internal chaos so they dony know what i feel. I let them off because even i didnt know enough about it to recognise it in myself until i read an incredibly huge amount about ASD in adult women and identified with it. 

    I think also its important to select who you tell and always be ready for an unsupportive reaction. If you think about it, it reflects badly on them that they react like that and anyway its irrelevant what THEY think  as they arent qualified to really have an opinion on whether you are or not. 

    I hope this helps and you continue making positive progress : )

Children