Recently diagnosed, wondering if other people have the same experience?

Hi. I completed the diagnosis process back in March and got diagnosed as being on the spectrum and was told I would be classed as having Asperger's (but it's not a formal diagnosis anymore).

I've always felt different, generally haven't fitted in and always felt separate to everyone else. I have a long list of behaviours and social difficulties which I think support the diagnosis. However, I wanted to see if other people have experienced the following ...?

Family and friends not recognising the diagnosis

Friends that I spoke to before the diagnosis, my parents, brother and sister all felt strongly that I was not Autistic / on the spectrum and have pretty much discounted it completely after the diagnosis.

I'm relieved (in a way) to have the diagnosis as it explains a lot for me, but most people around me don't seem to agree that I could have Asperger's. Most people, aside from a few, have either said "of course not", or not really bought into it.

Being okay as a child

As a child I didn't really make friends with other children and I feel that I went through my school life mostly keeping to myself. I always felt different and spent a lot of time playing by myself or reading. I did play outside with other kids, but I know I rarely connected with any apart from one or two.

I spoke to my parents today and their view is that I was a content child, just generally quiet. I didn't have meltdowns, I got on okay with my family and was pretty easy going.

I don't understand how I was relatively okay as a child, but have struggled a lot as an adult. Anyone else have that experience?

Social struggles getting harder with age

I seem to have struggled with communications more as an adult than as a kid. I have had a pretty good career in IT, but been socially awkward throughout. I've always found the social side quite hard most of the time, but I've gotten by. Early in my career I was regularly asked to speak louder and eye contact has always been difficult, but again, I've gotten by.

I struggle to talk to people all day and start shutting down in the afternoon if I've had to. I don't laugh at the bosses jokes, but know that I'm supposed to, like everyone else. I don't like work social events and avoid them at all costs (unless it's a small group who I feel close to). I regularly seem to upset or offend someone, but don't mean to. And on conference calls I either don't say enough, or I launch into long monologues and often forget that there are other people on the call (which is weird and a bit funny).

Is anyone else recognising behaviours pre or post diagnosis and then having issues with them becoming more impactful with age?

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Parents
  • Hi...I'm am older adult just starting the process of assessment. My referral was agreed yesterday.

    Much of what you say about OK childhood mirrors my experience. I also only had a couple of good friends and learned to adapt to fit in with them. I think no-one was too bothered because I was good academically, and 30+ years ago it was not in anyone's radar.

    University onward was where things went haywire for me. The uncertainties of living away from home caused stress, plus the politics of the workplace and the like are things I just don't get. People don't seem to appreciate honesty and attention to inconvenient details.

    I'm hoping a diagnosis, if it eventually arrives, will lead to greater understanding and a better way of living.

    My wife, when I told her about being assessed, said she'd always though I had autistic traits. One of my oldest friends said she thought likewise: "High functioning autism" is how she put it.

Reply
  • Hi...I'm am older adult just starting the process of assessment. My referral was agreed yesterday.

    Much of what you say about OK childhood mirrors my experience. I also only had a couple of good friends and learned to adapt to fit in with them. I think no-one was too bothered because I was good academically, and 30+ years ago it was not in anyone's radar.

    University onward was where things went haywire for me. The uncertainties of living away from home caused stress, plus the politics of the workplace and the like are things I just don't get. People don't seem to appreciate honesty and attention to inconvenient details.

    I'm hoping a diagnosis, if it eventually arrives, will lead to greater understanding and a better way of living.

    My wife, when I told her about being assessed, said she'd always though I had autistic traits. One of my oldest friends said she thought likewise: "High functioning autism" is how she put it.

Children
  • Hi - I suspect we are about the same age. And thanks, the biggest challenge for me is that when talking to my family, it seems I was normal as a child, which leads me at times to think that maybe I am not on the spectrum and maybe developed issues as an adult that are similar to Autism/Asperger's issues / behaviours.

    People don't like honesty do they? :o) I'm always upsetting people, but I never mean to. I think I'm never quite sure of people's intentions and if people ask me a question, I'm always honest. Sometimes I know not to be. But generally, if someone asks me a question, I'll give them my honest answer. Just need to not do it in big presentations that can have multi-million dollar deal impacts. I hopefully won't do that again.

    I often see things and solutions that others don't and have to wait for them to catch up. My boss got fed of me saying "I told you so" after many technical system discussions where I could see the outcomes and the down the line impacts and issues and no one else could.