Recently diagnosed, wondering if other people have the same experience?

Hi. I completed the diagnosis process back in March and got diagnosed as being on the spectrum and was told I would be classed as having Asperger's (but it's not a formal diagnosis anymore).

I've always felt different, generally haven't fitted in and always felt separate to everyone else. I have a long list of behaviours and social difficulties which I think support the diagnosis. However, I wanted to see if other people have experienced the following ...?

Family and friends not recognising the diagnosis

Friends that I spoke to before the diagnosis, my parents, brother and sister all felt strongly that I was not Autistic / on the spectrum and have pretty much discounted it completely after the diagnosis.

I'm relieved (in a way) to have the diagnosis as it explains a lot for me, but most people around me don't seem to agree that I could have Asperger's. Most people, aside from a few, have either said "of course not", or not really bought into it.

Being okay as a child

As a child I didn't really make friends with other children and I feel that I went through my school life mostly keeping to myself. I always felt different and spent a lot of time playing by myself or reading. I did play outside with other kids, but I know I rarely connected with any apart from one or two.

I spoke to my parents today and their view is that I was a content child, just generally quiet. I didn't have meltdowns, I got on okay with my family and was pretty easy going.

I don't understand how I was relatively okay as a child, but have struggled a lot as an adult. Anyone else have that experience?

Social struggles getting harder with age

I seem to have struggled with communications more as an adult than as a kid. I have had a pretty good career in IT, but been socially awkward throughout. I've always found the social side quite hard most of the time, but I've gotten by. Early in my career I was regularly asked to speak louder and eye contact has always been difficult, but again, I've gotten by.

I struggle to talk to people all day and start shutting down in the afternoon if I've had to. I don't laugh at the bosses jokes, but know that I'm supposed to, like everyone else. I don't like work social events and avoid them at all costs (unless it's a small group who I feel close to). I regularly seem to upset or offend someone, but don't mean to. And on conference calls I either don't say enough, or I launch into long monologues and often forget that there are other people on the call (which is weird and a bit funny).

Is anyone else recognising behaviours pre or post diagnosis and then having issues with them becoming more impactful with age?

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Parents
  • you do sound a very classical high functioning autistic person. 

    yes i found the social side became worse with age ----- but i decided to fight it such a speak and now i have improved in the social area. 

    I am in IT as well and find using Teams ( Zoom ) makes me very self conscious so I tend to have the camera off if  I can

Reply
  • you do sound a very classical high functioning autistic person. 

    yes i found the social side became worse with age ----- but i decided to fight it such a speak and now i have improved in the social area. 

    I am in IT as well and find using Teams ( Zoom ) makes me very self conscious so I tend to have the camera off if  I can

Children
  • Yes, I think high functioning overall too. I feel like an autistic fraud at the moment. My daughter's have both said, "yeah I can see that" when I talked to them about it, but everyone else said "everyone's a bit autistic", "no you're not", "you don't have any social issues" (which was the best for me as while I felt it was all very hard, the people closest to me didn't).

    I used Teams too for work and it made me feel very self conscious too. Plus, sometimes I put my head in my hands when thinking and don't think too much of it, but I gained quite a bit of criticism for doing it while on Teams calls. I think that I like to close my eyes and cover my face when thinking deeply. I think other people saw it as me having some sort of stress reaction or breakdown and Teams maybe highlighted this behaviour!