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Staring into space

Morgan

I was wondering if this is a symptom of ASD, cause its really been bothering me and I'm not sure why I do it.

I spend a lot of time doing nothing at all, not because I particularly want to - in fact I sometimes get stressed over the fact that I'm wasting time - but I guess its kind of calming in a way to just space out. The problem is that I often do it for around 30mins-1hr 30mins at a time, and this happens multiple times a day (so sometimes I can spend around 2-5 hours every day doing absolutely nothing). I might start a task, e.g. draw for 1-3hrs, then have over an hour of sitting at my desk thinking. When I try to push myself out of it I feel bored and can't focus on the things I try to do until it feels right to start doing something again, which can take a while. I try to make myself go for a walk everyday, but that's just another hour of being stuck in my head and I often don't even pay attention to anything around me when I'm out (other then completing my constant OCD compulsions). 

The majority of the time I just spend introspectively thinking about ASD and OCD, and often when I'm not spacing out I spend a lot of time researching about those conditions or looking on forums or discords server dedicated to them. The rest of my thoughts are mostly planning out what foods I'll eat that day, and if I'm going to go out, and also many many anxious thoughts. 

I was just wondering if anyone else spends so much time spaced out, and if it could be a symptom.

  • in reply to BJS

    I have found my journal good for keeping a to do list and getting things done but some days it just doesn't happen. I wake up with no plan for the day. I've also tried splitting it into 4 sections - enjoyment / 5 minute jobs / useful / urgent but this didnt really help.

    Maybe I need to make a bit of a plan the night before but I know now I won't stick to it!

  • in reply to BJS

    i might start to do that too, cause if i start something i can generally keep it up for a few hours. Its starting in the first place that seems to be the problem though, and changing from one activity to another. 

    having a structure could help though

  • in reply to Deleted User

    i like ot have a to do list or similar for weekends and days off

  • So on my days off when I don't have to rush, I can sit on the end of my bed for ages say, after a shower, just having imaginary conversations in my head with other people, or not doing much or just stuck in my own thoughts. Also when I'm off I struggle to get motivated as I rarely have a structure to my day but its not for want of trying. Autistic inertia seems to make sense to me. I still spend a lot of time reading up about AS as I think it's a strong interest of mine. 

  • in reply to Morgan

    There's always an explanation for everything, Morgan. Be kind to yourself. That's all you need to do!

  • in reply to ☕Tassimo ☕

    I'll have a look at the MIND website, thanks for the advice.

    next time I see a specialist I'll talk to them about it too

  • I prefer to close my eyes (and sometimes sleep) rather than stare into space. It depends where I am. I do it multiple times a day. I've come to understand from professionals that it is a natural part of my autism. They explained to me that this happens for the same reason that neurotypicals sleep at night. Sleep is when the brain goes into Safe Mode in order to free up BRAM, clear its CPU and get rid of any residual emotional junk. My autistic brain needs more time in Safe Mode and that's the reason for these temporary shutdowns. I welcome them now because I know they are a safety valve which is preventing me from overloading.

    I'm not sure I understand the other things you talk about. They sound like obsessive thoughts.  Obsessive thinking (which is a form of addiction) means you're addicted to thoughts about certain topics, usually unpleasant ones, about yourself, or others. It's not nice. It often leads to a depressive illness or an anxiety disorder. Have you checked out the MIND website? There are buckets of useful information on their site about all these kinds of mental malfunctions. I've used the site a few times when my connections have come loose. And it's comforting and reassuring. Once you know what something is, it loses its power to scare you. 

  • in reply to aidie

    i hope so too, but its something i've been doing for a while. I think I obsess over things quite a lot but I haven't realised how bad it is because I've always done it and haven't known any different.

    Thanks for all the responses by the way, it helps a lot

  • I do it sometimes but not to the extent that you do, interesting that it could be a sort of shutdown

  • in reply to aidie

    I've seen other people talk about those too, and I also think I experience them but this is slightly different cause it happens so often. Maybe they are shutdowns, but it feels like it happens way too frequently so I don't know. They do happen more when my OCD is worse, so maybe its some sort of response to that - a way to remove myself from having to do my compulsions.

    There are other times where I'm sure that I have been experiencing shutdowns, and during those times its slightly different cause all I want to do is stay away from everyone and just shut everyone out completely. But with the ones that happen everyday I don't feel as overwhelmed as the other times

  • but there is a type of shutdown where people freeze and they apear to stare into space ----- could it be a shutdown ?

  • this happens to some people they get obsessed with their condition until it becomes unhealthy ---- i did it for a while now i have stopped so hopefully its a phase for you as well