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Growing old alone

Ultramarine

I've been at A&E all night accompanying my mum - luckily she is all fine now and the problem turned out to be not serious.

But it got me thinking - how do people cope when they are elderly and have no children and perhaps no partner either; what do they do if they need help in a medical emergency?  I know you can always call emergency services, but what about emotional support and just feeling like you're not completely alone.

I've never felt that I have the emotional or relational skills to raise a child (I am 38 now) - and anyway, I wouldn't just have children so that there was someone to care for me in old age, as I feel that that would be a selfish motivation.  (Also kids have their own lives and plans).  I really don't think I could raise a child well, because I need so much down time on my own in order to function well.  But on the other hand, I sometimes wonder about how I will feel later on, as I get older - I hate the thought of being elderly and vulnerable and on my own.  I've never been in a long-term relationship; I might try again soon but I don't know if it will work out.

I guess I was just wondering if you know any older people in this situation and if so, how do they cope.  Or are you in this situation?

On the one hand I spend a lot of life on my own and feel comfortable that way, but on the other hand, I really struggle without any emotional support.  It's a kind of paradox.

PS - Thank you so much to everyone who's replied to my other posts - I want to reply properly, individually to everyone - hopefully I will be able to do this today.

Parents

  • i think they generally go in care homes..... although they maybe if you have harder trouble living to the point of dementia maybe

    but there are other type of homes not as radical and invasive as care homes, like some sort of assisted living homes. my aunt had a friend who was in one, and they are basically the same as flats, a estate of flats which you have you own flat and live like normal independantly but the site has carers and in each flat there is like pull string things that summon carer help. these are installed all over, from the living room to one at your bed that you can pull in bed if you need help.

Reply

  • i think they generally go in care homes..... although they maybe if you have harder trouble living to the point of dementia maybe

    but there are other type of homes not as radical and invasive as care homes, like some sort of assisted living homes. my aunt had a friend who was in one, and they are basically the same as flats, a estate of flats which you have you own flat and live like normal independantly but the site has carers and in each flat there is like pull string things that summon carer help. these are installed all over, from the living room to one at your bed that you can pull in bed if you need help.

Children
  • in reply to Caelus

    Hi Caelus, 

    Thanks for your reply.  Yes, I've heard about similar kinds of communities.  At the moment I don't know whether or not I would be able to move house, or how much it might cost to live in a type of community like that.  I guess I could do a bit of research, but maybe it's better not to worry too much about hypotheticals at this stage - I don't know what my situation will be like in a few decades' time, assuming I live that long.