This absolutely is domestic abuse. Manipulative and Controlling humans like this exist and continue to degrade society because they are not given their justice due. They are incredibly harmful because of how difficult this behaviour can be to ID. A trained therapist would recoginse this immediately. It is the equivelant of being able to lock someone up against thier will in a basement and force them to say their happy or they deserve it. How many individuals don't reach their potential because someone sadistic and oppressive continually steals their will to thrive? You have every right to support, to speak out against this sort of behaviour. Your mum deserves much better and probably doesn't reaiise how enjoyable it would be to be on her own for a bit. It sounds like he doesn't deserve how many chances she's given him.
Scroll to the bottom for support numbers: https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/arguing-and-conflict/what-emotional-abuse
For a little more research, maybe do a google search on "Dark Triad".
It’s like I said with emotional abuse, there’s no evidence usually to provide… that’s why it’s the most subtle form, you can’t always prove it to others. It would be my word against his you’re not wrong, that’s however the most scary thing… because that means I’ll never be able to get people to see the truth
Can't really offer much except to say you probably need to try to collect hard evidence or if authorities did get called in it would be your word against his and I'm guessing that he would be the one to be heard, maybe try talking to your mother to see if she could help gather the evidence as well.
I have thought about making a private enquiry somewhere, but it’s all sort of geared around women who are in relationships and it makes me feel like I’m not justified somewhat. I get the thing about the rooms thing, mine is mine and I don’t like anyone to interfere with it. I had a really worry bout recently because I have my phone and my tablet in my room, but until recently I didn’t have passcodes on them (I find them frustrating), my Mum told me I should put them on as it’s best for security and safety (I hate the internet), but I worry that what if whilst I wasn’t in, he got into my room and onto my devices somehow, who knows what he might do? It’s just all so scary and unsettling, I just never know what he’s going to do next.
ah i felt similar. 31 living with parents, my dad was always a very working class type so he always call me lazy and there was times he just shout at me every day and force me to listen to him whining at me same *** every day insulting me swearing at me calling me lazy and so on. he too has a weird thing about putting things in places, his place for things always changes and he expects everyone to know where he wants it to be despite that always changing and him not telling us the new place for it, this causes him to shout at everyone for putting things in the wrong place which he accuses us of doing it on purpose, despite it being him always changing a items place.... he stopped now and mellowed down, i guess age is catching up with him? lol although he did start to mellow out coincidentally after i started getting swole and training kung fu so maybe its a assertive dominance thing.... then again he has also been taking cbd and other health supplements so maybe something he took has corrected him somehow. but yeah was a pain living with him all this time, hell he went through my room and trashed it and moved my stuff to another room one time, and im very picky about my room being my space and not wanting anyone in it.
i dunno what can be done, aside from train, get swole, take up martial arts, become more assertive to the point he fears you, establish some form of assertive dominance physically to the point he wouldnt want to annoy you. then he will become more submissive.
