Coming to terms with realising you are probably autistic

Like several others, there are some great and interesting replies. I felt it might be useful for me to add yet one more, and hopefully it will be of some help.

I'm now in my 40s, married, good job, was diagnosed with learning disabilities as a child but then Asperger's in 2007. At the time of the diagnosis, I didn't really care too much. I was me, I found my place in life, and everyone thought I was generally doing okay. I honestly thought I HAD come to terms with being on the autistic spectrum. I wasn't on any medication or having to see doctors.

Unfortunately, it wasn't until prolonged stress (and family deaths) caught up with me recently and I suffered an Autistic Burnout, and I literally had regressions. That's something that none of us ever thought would happen to me. Since then, I've learned that being on the spectrum just means that parts of our brain are a little slower than the rest of our system (for example, I'm great with maths and logic, but horrible with emotions).

I accept that. And, I then was able to accept the fact that sometimes the "logical" part of my brain can have an idea before my "system" can determine how I "feel" about that idea. Essentially, I was thinking and acting/doing before my brain fully processed all of the data/information about "feelings" that might be attached to those thoughts/actions.

I don't mean to get philosophical, but once I accepted how my brain works, and that I'm just a little slow sometimes, but that's okay, stay calm, relax, and you'll get there...sometimes part of your brain gets to the destination before the rest of you, and you get confused and don't really know why.

I'm know everyone is very different, and no two people are alike (from another perspective, we're all the same). Regardless, once I understood how my brain worked (maybe because I'm a logical thinker in the first place), my world started making sense to me again. I was able to make connections again, and knew how to "sort" my thoughts. So, perhaps, that approach might work in a similar way for you as well?

All the best in your self discovery/understanding/acceptance.

Like several others, there are some great and interesting replies. I felt it might be useful for me to add yet one more, and hopefully it will be of some help.

I'm now in my 40s, married, good job, was diagnosed with learning disabilities as a child but then Asperger's in 2007. At the time of the diagnosis, I didn't really care too much. I was me, I found my place in life, and everyone thought I was generally doing okay. I honestly thought I HAD come to terms with being on the autistic spectrum. I wasn't on any medication or having to see doctors.

Unfortunately, it wasn't until prolonged stress (and family deaths) caught up with me recently and I suffered an Autistic Burnout, and I literally had regressions. That's something that none of us ever thought would happen to me. Since then, I've learned that being on the spectrum just means that parts of our brain are a little slower than the rest of our system (for example, I'm great with maths and logic, but horrible with emotions).

I accept that. And, I then was able to accept the fact that sometimes the "logical" part of my brain can have an idea before my "system" can determine how I "feel" about that idea. Essentially, I was thinking and acting/doing before my brain fully processed all of the data/information about "feelings" that might be attached to those thoughts/actions.

I don't mean to get philosophical, but once I accepted how my brain works, and that I'm just a little slow sometimes, but that's okay, stay calm, relax, and you'll get there...sometimes part of your brain gets to the destination before the rest of you, and you get confused and don't really know why.

I'm know everyone is very different, and no two people are alike (from another perspective, we're all the same). Regardless, once I understood how my brain worked (maybe because I'm a logical thinker in the first place), my world started making sense to me again. I was able to make connections again, and knew how to "sort" my thoughts. So, perhaps, that approach might work in a similar way for you as well?

All the best in your self discovery/understanding/acceptance.

Hello Sean,

Thanks very much for replying to my post.  It's interesting and helpful for me to read about your experiences.  It sounds as though it was very helpful for you to learn and understand more about how your brain worked, so that you could then figure out ways to adapt your behaviour to that.  It's great to read that you were so accepting and kind towards yourself.  I'm learning a lot from people I meet who are kind to themselves, and I think it's a lovely attitude.

I'm sorry to hear about the Autistic Burnout that you suffered.  I don't fully understand what Autistic Burnout is, but recently one person on this forum directed me to some video resources on the subject.  I had a kind of burnout when I was at school - I had an eating disorder then started missing a lot of school - and I don't know if that's the same thing or not.

Thanks for your thoughts on self discovery and acceptance.  I am finding things quite difficult at the moment.  I hope that it's a temporary phase and I'm sure it will get easier in time, but at the moment it feels that the life I had before doesn't fit any more, which is unsettling.

I also believe the source of anxiety (at least for me, who is on the spectrum) stems from not being able to remember/recall "things" (words, feelings, everything). I have always had an excellent memory and am extremely thorough, almost as if my brain constantly is striving to retain every single fact. But, anxiety comes when trying to recall that fact, and struggle to properly put it to words. Go figure?!