Brother is nit just autistic but also a psychopath

Sometimes people do feel empathy but just don't know how to show it, or they express it in an unconventional way that people don't understand. I'm so sorry about the loss of your grandmother. Your brother's behaviour surrounding her death must be so hard for you to deal with. It could be that he is actually overwhelmed by feelings and just doesn't know how to express them. Sometimes people are manipulative but it isn't their intention - their behaviour is challenging due to their own internal distress, leading to them lashing out and therefore inadvertently manipulating. The frustration around sex is telling, I think; it sounds like he has a lot of pent up aggression.

I think maybe throwing around labels like 'psychopath' isn't helpful to him or you or your family. Has a psychiatrist or medical person ever applied that label to him? If yes then ignore me, they know best, but if this is speculation on you, his or your family's part, I'd say it's a woolly term that carries a lot of stigma and I think very few people know what it actually means. As for a psychiatric ward, most of the time they don't admit people to help them recover from long term mental health, emotional or personality issues...they admit people who are in crisis and are an immediate danger to themselves and/or others. They don't 'sort people out' long term. In fact, often going onto a ward makes things worse, because people go in there with a lot of other unwell people who engage in destructive behaviours, so it adds fuel to the fire. I live in terror of going into a unit for my eating disorder, which is looking like a very real possibility at the moment, but I don't think being there will be too great for my Autism or my anorexia, to be honest. I'll be fed and got up to a safer weight and that's pretty much it. It won't cure me long term.

I think a good thing might be to look at the services the NAS provide, as well as seeking help from your brother's GP, might be a good place to start. I have to say I think you should also be more careful with your language...saying that there are a lot of 'very loveable people with Autism who are very sweet' has a slightly patronising tone (please don't think I'm criticising you, I see you're in a horrible situation and are doing your best, and none of us know everything, I'm just trying to give you an Autistic person's perspective). Us Autistic adults are adults like everyone else, and slightly infantilising statements are hard to deal with. I get defensive when I feel patronised. Is there any way that you can connect with your brother, adult to adult? Some kind of common ground you can meet on? I think a good thing you could do is talk to him like a grown man. This might help with the anger.

If you ever feel physically unsafe, though, whatever his issues, that's domestic abuse and people can help. Perhaps a mod will have some helplines? You deserve to feel safe and comfortable. Take care, all my best to you and your family.

You misunderstand some people do not know how to show empathy but straight up calling someones mother your own grandmother a d head and saying that you do not care just a week after she has passed away has nothing to do with not knowing how to show empathy he is absolutely void of it.. im telling you in person it is clear as day that he does not care. 

He has been enjoying his time recently if not even more knowing my gran is no longer being cared for at home by hospice nurses so he feels he can just be as loud as he wants to now even though we are all still grieving as my gran did actually live with us for almost 6 years.

And also I do not mean it to sound patronising I know where you're comming from... I myself have ADHD and some people who have never come across it seem to think I am utterly disabled at first word lol. Its just my whole life my mother has said its just because he has autism and I'm just trying to make a point that autism has nothing to do with it although yes I do know autistim makes emotions difficult etc but he is empty it is literally all about his own happiness.

We haven't sent him to anybody my mum just doesn't bother with it at all she would just ignore me if I asked to send him to the GP for some type of help/therapy. Even my gran told my mother before she passed he needed help multiple times I swear.

hmm, again id suggest perhaps hes covering up his sadness with a display of opposite emotions.
especially if you say hes gotten loud about it more now shes dead... maybe hes just holding in his sadness in a way in which you instead say the opposite thing. i hold in sadness alot aswel and say things i dont mean and even say sarcastic stuff, its a coping mechanism, and its a way to avoid letting emotion out. kinda like when you hit your head on something and pretend it doesnt hurt then pretend you liked it instead or didnt feel it and that youd totally do it again, but actually it really hurt and your close to tears.

hmm, again id suggest perhaps hes covering up his sadness with a display of opposite emotions.
especially if you say hes gotten loud about it more now shes dead... maybe hes just holding in his sadness in a way in which you instead say the opposite thing. i hold in sadness alot aswel and say things i dont mean and even say sarcastic stuff, its a coping mechanism, and its a way to avoid letting emotion out. kinda like when you hit your head on something and pretend it doesnt hurt then pretend you liked it instead or didnt feel it and that youd totally do it again, but actually it really hurt and your close to tears.