yo, so as i was thinking last night on my feelings and how long they last and forever plague me, i thought. what if depression is a punishment for some bad stuff we did in a past life?
and the amount of recurring depression you gets signifies you must have really done alot of bad stuff in a previous life and this feeling is making up for it, or suffering for it.
and that if you commit suicide it isnt going to go away, it will follow you even more into the next life and your next life will be bad and depressing too, so it is better to stick around and take the depression and bad feels of this life so that your next life can be clear. and even perhaps if you take more punishment and misery in this life than due perhaps your next life will be super good and pleasurable to make up for it.
and all in all it means the depression and bad feels we get, perhaps we deserve them? perhaps its making up for our own evils. and i dunno when thinking on this it sorta made me feel slightly better for the time being, enough to sleep i guess.
which then made me think on religious people, it made me realise religion is just founded on depression and trying to cope, as they probably maybe thought a similar thing that perhaps they sinned or did bad and their bad feelings is their penance or repentance whatever? and ofcourse there is more examples of this in religion that goes even farther such as the flagellants who would whip themselves to cleanse them of sin, hurry up their punishment so that they can get the suffering out of the way faster, then there is the the aescetics or whatever that practices some form of denying themselves pleasure and food and so on ans i think thats also the word for monks who go out of their way to go through hardships and endure them. and im sure my first ideas i types at the start of this thread is probably close to some indian religion for all i know but i dont know their stuff and ideas, but could be as when you think you think of things that have already been thought of before. both religion and philosophy always come round to the same negative feelings in life and getting through them. ok im totally just rambling on the last paragraph lol but my thoughts are like a puzzle and i feel it pieces together the world in which i see reason for why certain things came to exist and be.