Late diagnosis female

I don't know if this helps, but I can relate... 

By 30 I was too rigid, too pragmatic, couldn't keep a normal job (worked hard but didn't 'fit in' or problems with organisation/social), lost someone I really loved (so many communication problems)... nightmare. Little help - I grew up in the States and as far as I knew Autism was synonomous with Downs Syndrome. I had too many health problems, buried under medical bills, but eventually I redesigned my entire self. Both parents had remarried and started new families, and since I had moved constantly as a child, I could suffer a more vagabond lifestyle, though I wish I had a place to call home (still have never been able to buy a house). I was incredibly withdrawn by 25 so at this point I was Absolutely Done. 

These things became life-changing: Asking myself what I wanted. In the immediate, in the longterm. Tenacity. Learning to Pause and Take Time even if I was homeless. Learning a system of growth, which started with Heath and being (not just feeling) Safe. I studied Ethics, I dove into philosophy, I discovered I could make music and hyper-focus. I didn't settle. I was particular about my surroundings, I didn't buy what I didn't need, I stopped just taking what was given, I researched, I became a bad consumer: I didn't buy it until I could afford the thing that wouldn't break or exactly what was right. I bought the old mechancial reliable thing. I still have an iPhone S - the one with the audio jack. I won't use bluetooth it hurts my ears. And most of all, learning to troubleshoot problems so they couldn't cause unneeded stress and complicate my life further. 

I'm still single (though I have a son), but I've come an incredibly long way. Autism is still under-funded and under researched. The sites and programmes in the US still seem archaic and out-dated and diminishing. The 'inclusive' TV shows are misleading. I'm working on a children's project to try and pro-ject a different perpsective of ASC. Change how we see or think about a thing and then you can change the outcome: think "Inception". 

I don't speak with my mother & I've been ghosted more times  by others than i can count when i've just been guilty of trying to make sense of the world. But now I have a few close good friends (though they live far away, I'm in the UK now). My father cannot bare the thought of my being autistic (though I believe I get this amazing brain from his mother), but for the few friends who've known me for a long time, it makes perfect sense.  At some point I also learnd how to spot and invest in humans who I can trust. And remind my ruminations about those who've ghosted me (including my mother) they aren't worth the invested time. I cannot control them (I say on repeat). Time is a resource we cannot get back. Money can be earned, Health can be maintained but my time is worth protecting. Sure it's mental work. But I try to remind myself to invest that time into those I can help or those who care and see me. Learning to allow a slow fade and dislodge individuals who are harmful and then learning practical steps to assert boundaries really made a massive difference in my anxiety levels. While there are now only 2 broken relationships that still 'haunt' me, Everyone else creating added stress was absolutely worth eliminating. 

I don't know if this helps, but I can relate... 

By 30 I was too rigid, too pragmatic, couldn't keep a normal job (worked hard but didn't 'fit in' or problems with organisation/social), lost someone I really loved (so many communication problems)... nightmare. Little help - I grew up in the States and as far as I knew Autism was synonomous with Downs Syndrome. I had too many health problems, buried under medical bills, but eventually I redesigned my entire self. Both parents had remarried and started new families, and since I had moved constantly as a child, I could suffer a more vagabond lifestyle, though I wish I had a place to call home (still have never been able to buy a house). I was incredibly withdrawn by 25 so at this point I was Absolutely Done. 

These things became life-changing: Asking myself what I wanted. In the immediate, in the longterm. Tenacity. Learning to Pause and Take Time even if I was homeless. Learning a system of growth, which started with Heath and being (not just feeling) Safe. I studied Ethics, I dove into philosophy, I discovered I could make music and hyper-focus. I didn't settle. I was particular about my surroundings, I didn't buy what I didn't need, I stopped just taking what was given, I researched, I became a bad consumer: I didn't buy it until I could afford the thing that wouldn't break or exactly what was right. I bought the old mechancial reliable thing. I still have an iPhone S - the one with the audio jack. I won't use bluetooth it hurts my ears. And most of all, learning to troubleshoot problems so they couldn't cause unneeded stress and complicate my life further. 

I'm still single (though I have a son), but I've come an incredibly long way. Autism is still under-funded and under researched. The sites and programmes in the US still seem archaic and out-dated and diminishing. The 'inclusive' TV shows are misleading. I'm working on a children's project to try and pro-ject a different perpsective of ASC. Change how we see or think about a thing and then you can change the outcome: think "Inception". 

I don't speak with my mother & I've been ghosted more times  by others than i can count when i've just been guilty of trying to make sense of the world. But now I have a few close good friends (though they live far away, I'm in the UK now). My father cannot bare the thought of my being autistic (though I believe I get this amazing brain from his mother), but for the few friends who've known me for a long time, it makes perfect sense.  At some point I also learnd how to spot and invest in humans who I can trust. And remind my ruminations about those who've ghosted me (including my mother) they aren't worth the invested time. I cannot control them (I say on repeat). Time is a resource we cannot get back. Money can be earned, Health can be maintained but my time is worth protecting. Sure it's mental work. But I try to remind myself to invest that time into those I can help or those who care and see me. Learning to allow a slow fade and dislodge individuals who are harmful and then learning practical steps to assert boundaries really made a massive difference in my anxiety levels. While there are now only 2 broken relationships that still 'haunt' me, Everyone else creating added stress was absolutely worth eliminating. 

Thank you JuniperFromGallifrey really appreciate your advice

Oh! And I just carry ear plugs with me everywhere. I refuse to be insecure LOL about wearing them when they help me focus on what a friend is saying while blocking out background noise.