Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I am currently on the waiting list via the NHS to have an autism assessment. I have always had a strong inclination that I am autistic, however I’ve not pushed hard enough for a diagnosis up until this point.
I have a job which I’ve had for almost ten months now, but I have had a meltdown, got quite angry when things ‘haven’t been done correctly’ and snapped at people. Unfortunately, in my job, there are people who like to take any ‘mistakes’ you make and run with them to management. This is of course causing me worry as I consider this job my forever job and want to do well in it and not be seen as a ‘problem’. I’ve told one person in management that I am in a waiting list to get a diagnosis, but I haven’t mentioned to anyone else, so when I have displayed autism traits it’s deemed by my colleagues as me being rude, snappy or quite frankly, strange!
Even though I have told one person in management, I’m afraid that because I haven’t had a formal diagnosis that they think I’m just using autism as an excuse for what colleagues consider to be rudeness and anger issues. I’ve had the obligatory diagnosis in the past of anxiety and depression, and have been put on medication throughout life, and have also tried to self medicate, both of which were to no avail.
I don’t want to be seen as a problem, or risk being dismissed or suspended, however I’m reluctant to tell anyone as people in this job (as I’m sure in most jobs) are not trustworthy and will use these things against you.
Has anyone had any similar experiences, or does anyone have any suggestions on how to move forward without people constantly complaining about me snapping when things are not done as I see how they need to be done?
I am so scared of having a ‘bad mark’ against my name or being punished.
If anyone could also tell me if they have tried things whilst waiting for a diagnosis, that can help with what is perceived as rudeness or snapping?
I really don’t want to lose my job, or not be given opportunity to progress because of this.
Thank you!
I had a similar experience, seventeen years ago. There were constant complaints about me, and I didn't declare my disability.
But, on reflection, I was in a Soulless, Gut-Wrenching Civil Service job. God didn't want me to be a Stooge.
Thank you for your response. In hindsight (if it was a job you loved), would you have been a bit more open about it?
I’m aware you can self diagnose, and don’t necessarily have to wait for an assessment, but I would like to see it in black and white so to speak, before I declare anything at work. With this in mind, is it wise to perhaps mention that this is a process I am going through to at least help my other members of management understand and not deem me a problem?
Thank you.