• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 81 subscribers
  • Views 895 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Handling moments with neighbours when you can't speak or recognise them

Lizzy

Hello,

I'm having a dilemma with managing the temporary losses of speech and inability to recognise people that happen to me when I'm overwhelmed. I'm worried about upsetting my neighbours by ignoring them when I would usually try to talk with them. Up until now I have been avoiding this by just not leaving the house when I'm like this but I'd really like to go for walks outside without worrying about it. The amount of time I am unable to speak is getting more and more as I get older and avoiding is resulting in me being stuck in the house for days at a time. I have been considering putting notes through their doors to let them know I'm struggling a lot at the moment and may not be able to recognise them or speak when I am out. I want them to know I'm not ignoring them deliberately. I can't even remember if I have told them I am autistic. I'm not sure how to word this and how much information I should give or if I should even do this?

Thankyou in advance for any help any of you can offer me!

Lizzy

  • in reply to aidie

    I really wouldn't do notes - you're giving away too much information - in writing  - until you've met the person at least once, you have no idea who you're dealing with and what actions they might take knowing you're autistic - it's totally out of your control.

    At least if you've met them, you can do a gross judgement about them for you to decide if you want them to know anything about you.

  • the note is not such a bad idea it least it lets them know --- and shows you value them. Remind them in your note u hve autism. I'm sure they will understand. You sound so kind and considerte. I think all will be OK for you.

  • Thanks for this post, i've had similar things happen myself (mainly the silence, but also not recognising neighbours) but didn't know if it was an autism thing so I'm pleased to hear I'm not the only one. I always remember with embarrassment leaving my house once when I was very stressed about work and looking to my left as I shut my door stared straight through my neighbour, I saw them but didn't recognise or acknowledge them. Like you I've considered letting neighbours know I have autism so they can understand it but I also feel quite private about it so it's difficult, in general I think people just think I'm anti-social

  • Hi Lizzy

    I have a similar problem - I don't recognise faces - especially if they are really average or generic - there's not enough constant data because people have different expressions or clothes or hairstyles - or context if they are somewhere where I don't expect to see them.     I'm ok if the have a Mohican or peg-leg - something easily memorable.  Smiley

    I just tell them that I'm sorry, but I might not recognise them in the street - and ask them to say hi and remind me who they are.     Not had any bad experiences via that route.

    I have a stack of generic conversation snippets ready - open ended questions that let them do all the talking - how are you? did you go away on holiday? done anything nice? - it gives my brain time to settle and remember them.  Smiley