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Seeing both sides of the situation

Deleted User

I can often see both sides of a problem or situation. It makes things difficult cos people think I'm on their side. And I am. But I'm also a bit on the other side too. I agree with both sides. But they don't know that because i dont want to be rude and say what I think about the other side of the story. Then I feel stuck in the middle and two faced and I feel like I'm lying. The other people very much take one side or the other.

  • in reply to Sporadic Sparkly

    Some people are weird!! But I suppose at school this is where we learn all this stuff even if it makes no sense.

    I was actually thinking about this very topic yesterday. I had forgotten I had made such a post. These days I actually feel comfortable with being in the middle. It's who I am. I actually think it is a strength I can empathise with both perspectives and not feel torn to choose a side. I'm talking very much about work here. I think if you can be upfront with both parties and assert oneself it's not a problem. I think I am more confident in myself now I know I'm AS. I think it's just people can take things personally.

  • I know this post isn't recent, but it reminds me of a situation I found myself in back in my school days (mid teens). At the time, I was friends with four other females. Two of them had fallen out and weren't talking to each other, and the remaining two had taken sides. As far as I was concerned, the friends that had fallen out were both being as bad as each other. I refused to take a side, so had been dividing my break times and lunchtimes between both sets of friends. Due to my unwillingness to pick a side, all four of them then stopped talking to me. This lasted until both sides became friends again about a fortnight later.

    At the time I considered it terribly unfair that both sets of friends deemed me a traitor for fraternising with the enemy, and I can remember writing about the unjustice of it all in my diary. When I think about it now, it just makes me laugh. 

  • Learning to be clever and say a thing only when it really matters and then saying it either in a funny way or in a way that helps others question takes years of learning to be diplomatic. But also, If I have even a hint of doubt about what is being said - which is often - or if it even appears someone is making a statement to 'virtue signal' in NT groupthink I won't bother because they're not posting to find a solution or look at a complex problem. Just take their turn at a microphone. 

  • aha yeah, i do this too, it makes me hated by both side and gets me banned from social media. because i try to see every side or possibility and then even list them all in a debate so that anyone im debating can pick what they think is best, which offends them because if you so much as describe a opposite side to what they pick they assume you support that opposite side and then hate you for it. but its just basic analysis to see and be able to list all sides and aspects without even picking any of them.