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Would diagnosis help unemployed 25 yr old stepson

Katie H

My partner's son is 24 years old. He performed well academically at school and went to uni for four years. He did not attain BSc and we recently discovered that when he was not attending (some) lectures, he shut himself away in his room to eat an play a game on the internet, had very little social contact, received zero support from the uni and was not confident enough to ask for help. (I did not know him well at this time.)

Two years later he remains unemployed. He has had some warehouse work and a short temporary job which had fantastic potential but the organisation ended his appointment abruptly due to a minor incident and as a agency worker there was little that could be done due to the terms of his contract.

I am not sure if this is helpful but prior to my involvement he did not appear to have any idea about how or where to look for work, what to include in a CV, how to respond to email messages, respond to interview questions. 

This past year he has focused on gaining an apprenticeship and I have been helping him with interview prep but he is not getting past the first interview. At primary school, Asperger's was suggested but "as he had friends and was doing well" no further action was taken. I understand there is possibility of support available once he is IN a job but would diagnosis and formal confirmation help for the APPLICATION and INTERVIEW stages? 

If the answer is Yes, would he first ask his GP? What precise tests are essential that he undertakes.

Any feedback and suggestions from this community would be appreciated as I am rather heart broken by the negative experiences this young man is enduring.

  • in reply to Mantra

    That is a very good idea, and at the least there will be a transcript to show passing some of the modules.

  • in reply to Katie H

    Sounds like you are doing a lot of the right things already. Good luck! You could try asking the local autism assessment centre if a diagnosis would make him eligible for specialised help in this area. 

  • I don't feel like I have enough experience to offer thoughts about your original query about diagnosis. There are some other good comments here already.

    However, my attempt at uni was not successful either. What saved me and my career was someone suggesting I request a Certificate of Higher Education because I did successfully complete the first year of my undergraduate degree. I added that to my CV which showed my interest in the subject, plus also disclosed that I had troubles completing. I just added one line about this on my CV and was prepared for questions about it in an interview. Being honest about it helped. I didn't have a diagnosis back then, but I did have life challenges. I think everyone can relate to life challenges getting in the way at some point, so it's really okay.

    Not sure if that idea would be an option for him. Could contact the uni about it if he didn't get a Cert. HE already.

    Ultimately, whatever route he takes must be led by him and what support he is open to accepting for challenges he is experiencing. Just an idea - but I wonder if there are career coaches who are experienced with young autistic people who could work with him, with or without a diagnosis.

  • Dara said:
    I have to say that unfortunately, I can't imagine that disclosing autism at the application or interview stage would be a good idea, because most people don't understand it and will think that he might not be able to do the job properly. An exception may be if someone's communication skills were so challenging that they cannot manage to perform well in an interview, whereas explaining autism and the strengths it could bring to the job could help.

    Other posters said don't disclose as well, but I do because I had tried to muddle through employment up to 2007 without, but finding I would have to in future after being told to "improve at communication skills" in appraisals at a public sector employer.

    Katie H said:
    When we do interview practise his responses are weak. We have chatted at length with very little improvement. He doesn't really 'get' what the NT world is asking (and why should he but that's another subject!). I feel that we are trying to mould him into someone he is not in order to jump through the hoops to employment.

    My responses would be weak too, I just can't get out fluent sounding answers to the likes of 'Why do you want this job / to work here / Why should I hire you'.  Being honest about diagnosis when you have one ought to be seen as a positive quality, as well as mentioned as to how it could bring some strengths to roles offsetting the weaknesses.

    Just meeting job descriptions and 'person specifications' is part of the battle, they tend to combine so many elements. I have computer and numeracy skills so would be well suited to a 'back office' role with a lot of spreadsheet / database / finance work but roles are often combined with reception / telephone / customer / public elements that I would not do well at, so I'm only ever a partial match on any given occasion.

  • in reply to Dara

    Thank you Dara. When we do interview practise his responses are weak. We have chatted at length with very little improvement. He doesn't really 'get' what the NT world is asking (and why should he but that's another subject!). I feel that we are trying to mould him into someone he is not in order to jump through the hoops to employment.

    Our experience of Job Centres is not particularly helpful.

    He is applying for roles and has been volunteering for the past 18 months (a role I discovered for him). He does very little independently and is not particularly proactive even to suggestions that I make, many of which would certainly be very beneficial to him.

    I too have wondered whether he could be open about autism and outline his strengths before an interview takes place so the interviewers anticipate that some aspects of his interview performance with be weak.

  • in reply to Katie H

    Just hover over my username and a box appears

  • in reply to Dara

    PS. I have to say that unfortunately, I can't imagine that disclosing autism at the application or interview stage would be a good idea, because most people don't understand it and will think that he might not be able to do the job properly. An exception may be if someone's communication skills were so challenging that they cannot manage to perform well in an interview, whereas explaining autism and the strengths it could bring to the job could help. However, that is just an idea, not something I have tested in real life! Also, it would not require a diagnosis I don't think. 

  • I don't know the answer about the diagnosis, but general career help would be of use to anyone in this position, autistic or NT. I think there are places like the job centre and even mental health places that offer career advice, and it sounds like you're being very helpful already in that regard. Also, if the apprenticeship doesn't work out, gaining some experience in a volunteer position would help to gain some confidence, skills and CV development, to help with getting paid work later on.

  • in reply to Plastic

    I can't work out how to invite you to be a friend so I can DM you! 

  • in reply to Katie H
    Katie H said:
    Could I direct message you please?

    Yeah -  no probs

    Something you might get him to look at is PLC programming - it's like Lego Mindstorms on an industrial scale and there's good money in it.      Another area of making money is production control - MRP systems - it's like the overall control of a manufacturing process from sourcing materials to planning the labour and arranging all the parts to make a quality item - it's a growth industry.

    These are much more specialist than a generic 'software developer' so there's limited people already doing it - and I'd guess that companies doing it might be looking for bright people to mould in their image.

  • in reply to Plastic

    Maths and Gaming are his areas of expertise. He likes solving problems and is focusing on a Software Developer apprenticeship. On the surface he appears to deal with stress incredibly well. Could I direct message you please?

  • in reply to BassFace

    One parent for sure, possibly both are ND. As a NT I struggle to understand lack of proactivity.

  • It's so short-sighted of people to think that "having friends and doing well" when you're under 11 means that a label would never be useful. News flash: ASD becomes a lot harder to cope with when you have are expected to manage your adult life, uni work, more complex relationships etc. without you or anyone else knowing how or why you're different.

  • It might help him a lot to get a diagnosis - what area of expertise does he have?    It might open doors to get support to help him into the workplace with something better than stacking shelves.

    How does he manage stress?    It can be a career limiter if he can't process it properly.

    For a diagnosis, speak to your GP - it could take over 2 years via the NHS - but are you able to afford circa £1500 for a more instant private diagnosis?

    (I'm very, very Asperger's - like a robot - but I have friends, I'm married with a family and I'm a chartered engineer)   i was diagnosed privately in my 40s - I'm mid 50s now.