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Asperger’s Adult

Sid3012

Hi everyone. 

I am an adult male at 44 years old and have done quite a few tests online. I forget how many but they all point to me having aspergers 

im breaking down and getting upset especially as my wife doesn’t know how to deal with me or help. I don’t blame her at all and am sad that we are arguing and distanced. I am also stuck abroad at moment and can’t seek physical help but need someone to talk to on text or email. 

firstly is there N official test that’s online that could help me diagnose it formally rather than hunting for all types 

secondly, how can I help ,self change. I don’t want to have any further issues and love my wife to bits but I’m prone to being told I’m not normal and that I should learn things 

feeling recently more like being inside than out and need an escape to be better than I am. 

please some advice 

thanks 

  • yes what Dawn says is possible  -- many of the assessments can be done by Video phone calls on smartphones/computers.

    some will send you out a paper pre assessment. I just completed on in an Autism research study.

    The ability to change your behaviour  is possible for many high functioning autistics.

  • Hi there. It might be possible to find a private provider that can do an assessment online, if you want one. Then it won't matter where you currently are.. But often they can be more accurate if they see you in person.

    As for changing you... You can't. And you shouldn't.  If you have autism, you have autism. But that's not a bad thing. What you can do is learn about the way you are wired, work out what your strengths are and enjoy to a max, learn how you are different and where you are prepared to adjust to the NT world and where you want it to adjust to you.

    In the end, if you love your wife and she loves you, she'll want to celebrate and work with you to find a way around the differences. She may be relieved to find the reason for the difficulties and be happy to adjust.

    Good luck :-)

  • Hi - I'm a mid-50s married bloke diagnosed in my 40s.   

    If you feel you have all the symptoms of Asperger's there's a couple of routes you can take-  sign up for a diagnosis - this can take a couple of years via the NHS.

    Next is say to yourself that you probably are Aspie so start taking positive steps to help yourself - this forum is a great source of information - get busy asking questions.

    I wouldn't be offering any e-mail or text information to anyone off the internet - you  really don't know who you're dealing with.

    If you're aspie, you probably suffer from extreme stress and anxiety and have an incompatibility to sudden changes in routine or plans.

    The problem with dealing with normal people (NTs) is that they expect you to do all the work to pretend to be normal - if you want a relationship with your wife, you both have to work together to make sure both your needs are met.

    Something vital for you is to have ways to calm down and reset your brain after stressful days.  

    What hobbies do you have?    I make models, do Lego, play with my synths etc.  Smiley