DRIVING

Hi LibstheHobbit. (Just finished re-watching the Hobbit movies last night!)

I felt the same about driving. I was strongly encouraged to take lessons from 17, but I didn't really like it. School showed us horror scenes of crashes to scare us into being safe and that stuck with me. I had a few batches of lessons over a few years, did loads of lessons as a result, but then eventually went on to pass my test aged 22... because I felt ready.

What helped me a lot was doing an extra, optional course at the time called 'Pass Plus' (for after the driving test) - not sure if it's still a thing, or something else has replaced it. It involved 6 lessons covering conditions not included by default in standard driving tests. So: country roads, night driving, navigating (the hardest one for me - so much to concentrate on at once), motorway driving. At the end, just for doing the lessons adequately you got a certificate which was also meant to help bring car insurance down when you disclosed it, but I actually found that my first car insurance was cheaper if I did NOT disclose it!! Pretty crazy!

General tips based on what helped me:

• Find an instructor you gel with, it's okay to switch. I connected best with a calm, logical, male instructor with clear language.
• Take your time. Your future driving will benefit you if you can associate lessons with good things, versus stress. You can cancel / rearrange lessons if you need.
• You can let your instructor know that you have high sensory awareness, so it may be best to start learning on deserted roads with few distractions. Even an air field, open back road, etc. You can switch places with your instructor anytime, so they can drive you to that place and back, avoiding you driving through busier places, if you need.
• I ended up buying a car as similar to my instructor's car as I could. Not same make/model, but similar size and feel to help my confidence afterward. Helped hugely.
• I took someone with me on my first drives after passing, to help keep me calm. I missed having the safety net of an instructor with brake peddle & mirrors next to me. After that I often travelled with a teddy on the passenger seat.
• If you don't want to learn to drive, leave it. You can change your mind later, but it's your choice.
• It's possible to live without a driving licence and car. You may need to consider public transport and/or be reliant on lifts from people you know or walking/cycling, but many people love this or even prefer this way of life.
• Even if you have passed your driving test, you can still use public transport / have lifts if you don't want to drive. I do this a lot right now.

Driving and having my own car has meant everything to me. It has been my way to escape people and places at my own time. It has been worth the challenges and costs. It's my bubble where I can shout and scream, or just sit in silence while parked and the outside noises are hushed.

Yes, Northern Ireland's award-winning and hard-hitting Road Safety ads had an adverse effect on me. Not to mention my Nan's untreated PTSD caused by Dad's death in the Troubles, and accidents she endured while Mum drove her.

Yes, Northern Ireland's award-winning and hard-hitting Road Safety ads had an adverse effect on me. Not to mention my Nan's untreated PTSD caused by Dad's death in the Troubles, and accidents she endured while Mum drove her.

Sorry to hear this, Desmond79 :(