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Roswell

It's hit the fan between my dad and I big time. HE has army level fitness and is unstable and I am not safe living here.

I'm about to become homeless. I don't know what to do. I don't feel safe anywhere. I have terrible anxiety and don't understand people.

I can't see myself living in a homeless hostel. I also don't want to live in the town I live in anymore. But don't know anywhere else that's worth going to either.

Maybe it's time to finish it all?

  • I was in a similar situation ,best to just try to stay out of there way ,i used to come in late ,stay in my room ,not use anything in front of them ,or eat .As soon as i left they said i wasn't coming back . The best thing to do is talk to shelter  and the council  , see what your housing allowance is ,you maybe able to get a place in a shared house. Or another route is student  ,then you can get grant etc . It may seem over whelming now but things do change . 

  • Do you have any family you could go to, even as a temporary solution. Somewhere that you feel safe, that will give you some time to work out your next steps and make more informed decisions, rather than ones driven by anxiety. 

  • You might be eligible for supported living - special accommodation for autistic adults. I suggest you contact NAS, Citizens Advice and your local Council for advice. Google supported living for autistic adults and contact the organisations directly. Good luck! Don't kill yourself - call The Samaritans like Moon said.

    I found this on the NAS website. www.autism.org.uk/.../adult-residential-services 

  • Hi Roswell.

    I was once in a similar situation. Due to my inability to look after myself properly and organise my own life when I was younger, I became homeless. I turned to the only place I thought would help - my parents - and my dad told me I could not return home, he wouldn't have me in the house. I had been depressed for years and my immediate thought was to end it all, but (fortunately) I failed in my suicide attempt.

    I was very lucky that another family member took pity on me after that even though she herself was living in a one room bedsit. I slept on the floor under her table for a few weeks while I got back on my feet.

    Is there nobody in your friends or family who might help you? If not, you could try the council. I once worked for the housing department of my local council as a summer job - converting their paper records to digital format.

    I probably shouldn't have but it was difficult not to read the case files whilst I was scanning them. Nearly all of them involved the kinds of things you are dealing with - people having family/relationship problems with their partner or their parents, and finding that they could no longer live at home and being faced with homelessness. The council has a duty to provide help. This could be remediation of the situation with your dad and making sure you are safe, or it could be finding alternative accommodation (though I suspect nowadays this is in very short supply compared to when I worked at the council).

    Admittedly nearly all the cases that actually got help were women, because they get priority, but having autism should also get you up the priority list. How old are you? If you are 16 or under then your parents have a legal responsibility to look after you and make sure you have somewhere safe to stay.

    You can get help from your local council here: https://www.gov.uk/homelessness-help-from-council or search for homelessness on your council website. At the very least, they could give you advice.

    Of course this would be if you stayed in the same town. I don't think other councils are under any obligation to help you if you move somewhere else.

    It's important to remember that any difficult situation you are in is temporary, no matter how bleak it feels. When I have been at my lowest lows it always seemed so hopeless but now I am so glad I am still here.

  • I didn't realise how important a safe space was until mine was taken away.

    I suggest you find a temporary safe space away from your father - hopefully this will reduce your anxiety and allow you to make better decisions.

    A homeless hostel is probably not the only option, but even if it is, you don't have to live there - just use it as a short-term respite while you find something more suitable.

    In my experience the Samaritans (free call 116 123 or google) are very good at providing a friendly ear and signposting you to services that can help.

    Alternatively you could google:

    nhs getting help for domestic violence

    The above NHS page gives info on what domestic violence is (for any gender), and several options on services you can call for help.

    Be strong.