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How to deal with a very nasty NT

NAS49761

Hello everyone

Can any of you offer advice on how to deal with a very nasty very manipulative older NT female who is a direct neighbour.

Different organisations have tried to help and one has given warning about her behaviour, but there isn't anything more I can do except raise a civil action which I don't want to do as this person tries to provoke me every single day.

She knows how to provoke me and I have been admitted to hospital twice as it's caused me to break down. 

With my ASD difficulties I am in no way on an even level with the nasty capabilities this person has.

All I know is that this person epitomises the absolute nastiness of NT people and it is no wonder the world is in the chaos it is with people in it like this person.

How do you deal with a person like this when they are around you 24 hours per day?

I'm so exhausted and feeling so I'll as I'm  having to leave the house at least once every day when I really need to be indoors to get away from them.

Thanks

Parents

  • I know you said the neighbour is NT, but I actually wonder whether she isn't and/or is suffering from mental ill health. It's worth bearing this in mind - not only might this explain her behaviour, but this could be a subject you bring up at some point if you need, with an authority of some sort. THEY may also need help and it may not be good for them to be in society based on their ill health and negative impact on others. Her behaviour is not that of a healthy, happy, un-stressed person.

    I'd recommend keeping a notebook to log dates, times and descriptions of what happens, as soon as it happens.

    Take photos where you are able to without provoking any more unwanted behaviour from her (e.g. discretely through a window if she nearby).

    Don't do anything in return, but keep a record of as much as possible.

    It's also possible to purchase some kind of CCTV (even just a computer camera) that you can have indoors and have the camera facing outside to where any events usually happen, recording 24/7 or at times things usually happen. I don't know if this is still true, but it was legally okay to film from inside a house to outside in any direction a decade or so ago. This means you could have a camera running constantly and store video clips if that would capture the issues. It would give you evidence to pass on to various authorities.

    ---

    As for how to deal with it cognitively and emotionally - that is going to depend on you. What do you need right now and each day? E.g. If you need blocks of quiet time or privacy, can you go somewhere else where you can guarantee that for a period of time each day?

    You may want something like counselling for this if it is affecting so badly that you need to go to hospital twice in a week. Make a note of all this because these are genuine ways you are being negatively affected and your quality of life is being impacted. (Hopefully this is obvious, but do not be tempted to make up or exaggerate her effects on you just in case you are questioned later. I am not doubting what you shared at all - only that in desperate times anyone could be tempted to go to desperate measures... eventually! The more honest you are, the more powerful your evidence.)

    No need to reply with give more detail or anything like that, I understand you can't share more. Hope this helps.

Reply

  • I know you said the neighbour is NT, but I actually wonder whether she isn't and/or is suffering from mental ill health. It's worth bearing this in mind - not only might this explain her behaviour, but this could be a subject you bring up at some point if you need, with an authority of some sort. THEY may also need help and it may not be good for them to be in society based on their ill health and negative impact on others. Her behaviour is not that of a healthy, happy, un-stressed person.

    I'd recommend keeping a notebook to log dates, times and descriptions of what happens, as soon as it happens.

    Take photos where you are able to without provoking any more unwanted behaviour from her (e.g. discretely through a window if she nearby).

    Don't do anything in return, but keep a record of as much as possible.

    It's also possible to purchase some kind of CCTV (even just a computer camera) that you can have indoors and have the camera facing outside to where any events usually happen, recording 24/7 or at times things usually happen. I don't know if this is still true, but it was legally okay to film from inside a house to outside in any direction a decade or so ago. This means you could have a camera running constantly and store video clips if that would capture the issues. It would give you evidence to pass on to various authorities.

    ---

    As for how to deal with it cognitively and emotionally - that is going to depend on you. What do you need right now and each day? E.g. If you need blocks of quiet time or privacy, can you go somewhere else where you can guarantee that for a period of time each day?

    You may want something like counselling for this if it is affecting so badly that you need to go to hospital twice in a week. Make a note of all this because these are genuine ways you are being negatively affected and your quality of life is being impacted. (Hopefully this is obvious, but do not be tempted to make up or exaggerate her effects on you just in case you are questioned later. I am not doubting what you shared at all - only that in desperate times anyone could be tempted to go to desperate measures... eventually! The more honest you are, the more powerful your evidence.)

    No need to reply with give more detail or anything like that, I understand you can't share more. Hope this helps.

Children
  • in reply to Mantra
    Mantra said:
    Hopefully this is obvious, but do not be tempted to make up or exaggerate her effects on you just in case you are questioned later

    Hello Mantra, thanks for all this information.

    I've quoted the above as this is something which often confuses me, how does a person exaggerate or 'make-up' how something effects them? I mean, there is only my lived experience of something as I experience it. If this is ever 'questioned' what could you possibly say to that when it's your experience? Doesn't that really mean they don't believe you? and if that's the case, then its hopeless.

    I don't know if I'm explaining this well at all, but it's kind of like 'over-reacting' I don't really understand that, a person reacts or doesn't react.

    I have looked into CCTV but it is very expensive to have it fitted. I've looked at doing it myself, but as usual my ASD issues get in the way of getting caught up in research about it all and not being able to decide which system to go for so that hasn't progressed, remain at a stalemate with it.

    I can't find any you mention that work through the window? Although I may well be getting caught up in some other details and missing this.

  • in reply to Mantra

    I also don't wish to share more details than this, but I've been in a similar situation. My house was vandalised in the night while I slept and I should have heard as I'm a light sleeper. But the hate was not meant to be directed at me - but at the person who owns the house. I was left shaken for weeks and still feel affected years later. Now have CCTV running 24/7 and been quiet ever since, thankfully.