• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 85 subscribers
  • Views 1551 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

How to confront a co workers language surrounding ASD

Caiel

Hi,

so basically I’m an autistic adult working within CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health service). My coworkers are all amazing in general and they know I’m autistic as it’s not something I keep very hidden. One of my coworkers has worked with autistic individuals for years and has developed some rather ableist language surrounding autistic people often saying that “it’s all about them” and making other generalisation about this. As someone who is autistic and tends to put others before themselves I find this frustrating and know it’s wrong. I want to better educate my coworker about this but she’s of a higher stance than me and I’m worried she may take it to offence when I genuinely don’t mean any rudeness by it but rather more that if I feel this way how do our young people feel? We’re so used to using stereotyped language and assuming there’s no one around to hear it. I otherwise get on really well with this coworker and she has been a great support to me and is a great nurse with great experience but her language is outdated and ableist. Any advice? Am I over reacting?
thanks

  • No you're not over re-acting. But as an ex E and D trainer, I know there are two sorts of discrimination; the fully cognizant and willful - not to be tolerated and tackled head on, and the unwitting, by possibly the pre-disposed to want to actually learn and to want to be supportive. This person sounds like the latter. In which case; the choice is have a quiet word in private, or if you are worried it won't come out right, express it in an e-mail telling the person you think a lot of them professionally and you hope your honesty will be helpful.

  • Do I really feel offended or irritated at how myopic and close-minded she sounds? How much research into psychology/psychoanalysis is she required to keep up on yearly? I'd hate to think professionals failing their profession simply by a lack of purposeful and intentional investigation. Surely she must know there are a myriad of reasons a person might 'appear' confident or 'appear' less mindful or 'appear' weak. Surely she must also AT the very least know that only a narcissist is really irritated when others seem overly ego-centric. I can't imagine she's really consumed with her patients lack of inquisition into her well-being. That would be a bit awkward. 

    Yet here she is in an exciting career, one curated and built by incredible individuals who came before her and she's super complain-y. Perhaps she's in the wrong job? 

  • I've been in this situation but with people I didn't know so I just said nothing. A person in a meeting basically said that you can't get a word in with someone autistic and they give longwinded explanations for everything. I wasn't diagnosed at the time but was being assessed, so I didnt know how to challenge it without getting emotional about it so I didnt say anything. 

    Ironic really that I stayed quiet when they were saying we are basically pedantic and wordy... 

  • Hi Caiel,

    No I dont think you are over reacting.

    Could you have a private one to one chat with your co-worker, explain how this language makes you feel, after all, you understand this better than most? Explain that it may appear to NT people tha people with ASD are thinking its all about them!

    Maybe ask why they have that perspective? Perhaps let them know how it actually is for you..