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Work

M

I started a new job in April. It is part time but slightly more hours than my last job, and I also have to work in the office at least 1 day a week, sometimes 2 out of 3 days. I love the job I have gone to and I feel like once I settle in and know what I'm doing that I'll be fulfilled and glad of the change. 

Problem is, right now I feel so anxious. Everything is new about the routine and I'm struggling to adjust from knowing most things in my old job to now knowing virtually nothing in the new one. I hate working in the office because I'm struggling to figure out who I should be and what I should say to get people to like me. I feel really lonely and like there is a spotlight on me as the new person. 

I'm not sure what I hope for with sharing this but I really just wanted to get it off my chest.

Oh and I already take anxiety medication but I feel no real benefit from it. I've tried counselling but I have only ever been able to access 6 sessions at a time because of cost and accessibility through my old work. I'm not sure it'd look great if I asked for it in my new job anyway so early on and I cannot afford private at the moment.

Parents

  • Do they know you're autistic? if they don't it might be good think about telling them and explaining how you feel they have an obligation to help you feel as comfortable as you can.

    If they do already know have you told them how you feel? again they have an obligation to help you feel as comfortable you can.

    Maybe when you have free time make a list of all the things that you could change in your section of they office or your desk that would make you feel better, when I was working in an office I got my desk to moved the corner of the room so there was nothing behind me except the wall and I could see what was going on and it also just made me feel safer and less anxious because it was a bit cozy I could concentrate a lot better. I also just had things on my desk from home that helped for some reason I don't know why I have souvenirs from holidays and I put some of them on my desk it just made my desk feel homely.

  • in reply to O

    I think this may be part of the problem. The role I do is a bit niche. There are only 8 of us, but until recently there were only 4. In the office there are 4 desks, so the original 4 weren't hotdesking and they have personal desks. The other 3 new people started a few months or so before me and we haven't been in the office together. Because of covid only 2 desks can be filled in the office at once, so on my days in it is me and 1 other person. This situation pretty much forces me to speak to the one other person, and that's not TOO bad because I generally prefer 1:1 anyway. Even 2:1 can make me feel overwhelmed. 

    I did tell occupational health when I started that I am autistic, but I haven't had a direct conversation with my manager about it and she hasn't asked. I feel like I do need to have a discussion about it but I've been trying to avoid sounding needy or weird. I'm actually having a call with the workforce inclusion person tomorrow who told me that she is also autistic, so I'm hoping to get something positive from that discussion! 

    I just want to be good at my job. I've been having weird intense dreams since I started. Not always scary or anxiety type dreams, though sometimes they are. I know I'm more stimulated than usually because of so much new stuff to process so this isn't unexpected really, but I'm just very tired already! 

  • in reply to M

    That's great there's someone part of the inclusion that's autistic! They should be able to help you and know what to do 

  • in reply to M

    Well hopefully having an autistic persons in that department is good sign that they have good policy and good general attitude to having autistic staff I hope it goes well

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