Hiya,
Wasn't sure where to post this really but hoping I can get some good feed back. Basic family situation first. I am a disabled mum with a kid who has autism and tourettes, I have very recently gone through radiosurgery. I have an elderly, disabled mum, who lives with my elder brother who has a diagnosis of Aspergers. The problem being faced is my brother, in his 50's, is prone to having incredibly bad, angry outbursts. He's big, intimidating, but can also be a softie. His thing is that if he believes that someone has implied that he has told a lie, he goes into an angry meltdown, and it doesn't matter where or when, he can't control it. The last one was when I was on an internet call with him, and I heard him lose it with my mother who is in her 70's and very unwell, and she hadn't even implied he had lied, but he somehow thought this and it got very, very bad with her. A lot of the anger seems to stem from things that happened in his childhood or over twenty years ago. He tells others he is a carer for us, but I have never asked him to be one to me, and the caring duties he does for our mum only go as far as cooking because she has accidents in the kitchen that have been dangerous, dropping her off at doctors appointments (few and far between) and getting the household shopping (no extra housework, bum washing, bed changing etc). We always make certain he knows these things are appreciated. What also worries me is that he seems to make an extra show of caring for mum if they go out, putting her arm around her and so forth, but if a professional isn't there, he doesn't bother.
Here is the thing. We love him dearly, so, so much. It is obvious that he is hurting emotionally, and like most people his age, will have some physical aches and pains too. We're scared though, that these outbursts are going to get him in trouble, He terrified me the last time he had one with me, and he said some terrible things (telling me I should die already, infront of my child). I am scared his actions will send my mum into a heart attack, I am scared he will do this to my daughter. People on the outside have heard his temper in the past and intervened but no more than a passing "are you ok?" to mum or I. We don't want him hurt and upset, but we can't seem to get him to see that this is a big issue, and it is really hard to broach this with him and when I gently tried, he said people shouldn't make him angry then.
Has anyone else had to deal with this? Any advice on it would be appreciated.
