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How to get my child to interact with other children

NAS69965

My son attends nursery but when it comes to interacting with the children he doesn't. He will play along side them but he behaves as though no one else is there. When it comes to story time or group activities he just plays away on his own

If I take him to the park and their is children of 10 years old he would run to play with them. 

When it comes to adults he talks away in baby language and the words he can say. No lack of confidence and always wants to be involved with what adults are doing

Why does my son behave like this and how do I get him to interact with the children his own age

Parents

  • I concur with the other responses. Leave him be. 

    Let me tell you about my childhood but assure you I turned out ok...

    As a pre-schooler, I spent almost all my time playing alone in my room. My mother out of desperation a time or two insisted I play downstairs. I resented her for it. If she tried to play with me, I stopped playing altogether. I didn't want her interfering in what I was doing.

    But that didn't mean I never interacted. Our next door neighbour was a lovely man. Sometimes he took his grandson, my brother and me for long nature walks and taught us all sorts of stuff. I loved that. I'd always want someone to read me stories. But I wanted to play ALONE.

    My first day of school was very disappointing. I'd been promised they would teach me to read and write, but instead the children were playing and were very noisy. I was horrified. What they were doing was pointless. Where were the individual desks with ink pots and pens for me to write?  I spent all my playtimes alone, trying to stay warm. I did not dislike the other children. Nor was I afraid of them. They just weren't doing anything remotely interesting. And they were very boisterous and chaotic.

    But it didn't mean I never interacted. If another kid needed my help, I gave it. If the teacher asked us to do a task together, ok I'd rather do it alone  but I helped them. I very much liked the company of adults and older children; they didn't play, but talked about more interesting things and they were calmer.

    Yes, I was bullied, lonely and miserable in middle school  but magically, by secondary school the other kids grew up. Some of them were nice and interested in the same stuff I was. Suddenly, relationships were built on quiet conversation, not noisy chaotic play. Play time became break time and there were lunch and afterschool clubs for the things we liked to do. I made friends. 

    I am a linguist and have had a career as a trainer and tutor, all of which demands people skills. I draw on my intellect not my intuition to work out what others feel and need. It might well have been very tiring, but it was rewarding. I DO interact. My hobbies are all still solitary ones, mind. 

    I think what I'm saying is, whilst you will need a watchful eye to see that your son isn't bullied or exploited, if 10 year olds and adults seem like good company to him, he will interact in the end on his own terms. Meanwhile, his peers and their mess and noise may be all a bit much for him.  For now he needs his solitary play

  • in reply to Dawn

    Thank you for this. I thought the same. I'm just going to ignore people's comments and how he wants to interact I'm happy with that

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