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Asperger’s ex will he come back or not?

Tara

He talks about if he come back things he will do & buy, he’s promised no more lies or secrets, he’s decorating our house, bought me necklace etc but he also confuses me & sleeps on sofa saying he’s uncomfortable around me but if he comes back he will feel better apparently, he goes hot & cold & dosmt want me questioning him as it puts him under pressure & pushes him away, I want to believe that he will come back but it’s confusing to me tbh, if he confused himself or is he making me wait on purpose & he might turn up one day & surprise me, when he’s doing things & buying things that’s good thing right? & maybe he says things out of anger or to make me think he’s not coming back, he says he wouldn’t look at another woman, I’m all he wants & wouldn’t change me etc but he says if I come home & won’t tell me if he is coming back or not says I have to wait & see & be patient, I’ve waited 9months now & I really do hope he will come back, we always have sex aswell even though he tries to stay away from me he can’t & I can’t him either, I know he cares about me a lot I just hope he comes back soon & this doesn’t drag on much longer, he knows I’m having operation in July & he remembered the date I was shocked so maybe he’s thinking of coming back before then 

  • Does he seem to be struggling with his diagnosis or is he long passed that?

    I know for me it has really affected my ability to just be myself, so much to process, you end up re-evaluating your entire life and doubing the sincerety of a lot of the interactions that happen or came before.

    I can't speak to your situation, only you can know the authenticity of that.

    All I'm saying is, it's really hard to be autistic in a world that requires a different sort of brain for 99.9% of situations and I think we should remain empathetic towards those who struggle. I am biased of course, but I promise you it is a daily (hourly) struggle to just fit it.

    I wish you all the best, and remember to ensure you remain true to yourself in your decisions Pray

  • You’re talking about ‘our house’ and he’s decorating it? He sleeps on the sofa? You’re still having sex? Sounds like he’s back in a relationship with you already.

    if you want to make a go of it why not go get couples counciling. If not you need to be in separate houses I think. Living with an ex you have feelings for and who wants you back is just too hard.

    but as it is sounds like you’re in defacto relationship with him already.

  • So it's been 9 months, do you really want things to keep going like this? Because it'll likely continue. You have to decide some things on your end of things, make a few changes, and figure out if this is a really fulfilling relationship for you. 

    I would not personally be flattered by gifts, decorations, or promises from anyone, nor would I be happy about a guy just coming to just get his needs met and then going, while emotionally distancing from me, and waiting for him for months to make a decision on commitment. I'm sure that guys learn that giving a girl fancy gifts and fancy meals is a way to get the guys needs met, but that does not mean the guy wants to commit. 

    What you decide should be about what makes you happy that fulfills your own heart, and not wait around relying on others to make you happy for you.