Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone, I'm relatively new to the forum - I appreciate hearing other people's experiences here because it has been helping me overcome something: denial of my challenges.
I've been so deep in denial that I've closed off memories of my past when things were at their worst and I felt beyond my limit. But slowly these memories have started to come back, especially now I'm seeking ways to learn about my own autistic traits (beyond the generic descriptions) and find ways to support myself now and in the future.
I have been denying my struggles on the inside: the pain, the stress, the health issues (most likely linked with huge levels of stress over years). I've been masking for myself (not just others).
The problem today is that I'm doing WELL! (Ha, I know, that doesn't sound like a problem). But when I'm relaxed, doing well, reasonably healthy and so on... I can pass as non-autistic and fool myself. I forget my sensory sensitivities and my limited capacity to process things, for example, yet I think I try to forget these on purpose (on a sub conscious level).
Have any of you been through this process of recognising and accepting your challenges after so long of denying them to yourself?
I welcome any thoughts or experiences if you're comfortable sharing them.
[Post edited 02/06/21 to simplify it and make it clearer what I'm asking about.]
The higher our expectations, the more wrath we shall build up.
Don't expect the Sun, the Moon and the Stars from people. They're self-seeking.