Stuck in a Washing Machine

Hey everyone,

Does anyone else ever feel like they are in a Washing Machine emotionally?

At the moment I seem to be tumbling through really happy and thoughts of a horrible dark nature. Swimming,  drowning, looking forward to the future and wanting to end it. It seems that just when I feel I've a handle on things, the spin cycle starts.

Does anyone else ever feel like this?

Parents
  • Weirdly, I'm hoping to get back to that. I've had so many things and so many people poking my monster, especially within the last few years, I'm feeling very exhausted emotionally. I'm taking steps to improve the situation now that I know about the autism. That seemed to be the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle. It's just that when I was more tapped into my emotions, I was able to use them to propel me forward. Now I feel like a bystander.

    I know it sounds like same old advice, but perhaps you should keep a journal. I like the bullet journal method. Apart from keeping track of what is going on each day, I also track various information such as if I'm feeling positive or negative, sleep patterns, diet, I keep track of if my anxiety depression or PTSD have a moment, that sort of thing. I also keep track of my hobbies and exercise, basically, if I exercise, I tick for that day, do some sewing, tick that day. This morning, we were waiting for a red light to change at some building works, we had oncoming traffic which stoked my PTSD. So I'll tick that. By keeping track of things, I'm able to see when things are happening. It stops becoming, 'I'm like this all the time' and turns into 'I had a moment where my PTSD was causing my discomfort, but I also had a good experience today when I did some exercise and read something interesting. 

    For me it's a way to start figuring things out so I can focus on that which can get my head back to where I want to be.

Reply
  • Weirdly, I'm hoping to get back to that. I've had so many things and so many people poking my monster, especially within the last few years, I'm feeling very exhausted emotionally. I'm taking steps to improve the situation now that I know about the autism. That seemed to be the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle. It's just that when I was more tapped into my emotions, I was able to use them to propel me forward. Now I feel like a bystander.

    I know it sounds like same old advice, but perhaps you should keep a journal. I like the bullet journal method. Apart from keeping track of what is going on each day, I also track various information such as if I'm feeling positive or negative, sleep patterns, diet, I keep track of if my anxiety depression or PTSD have a moment, that sort of thing. I also keep track of my hobbies and exercise, basically, if I exercise, I tick for that day, do some sewing, tick that day. This morning, we were waiting for a red light to change at some building works, we had oncoming traffic which stoked my PTSD. So I'll tick that. By keeping track of things, I'm able to see when things are happening. It stops becoming, 'I'm like this all the time' and turns into 'I had a moment where my PTSD was causing my discomfort, but I also had a good experience today when I did some exercise and read something interesting. 

    For me it's a way to start figuring things out so I can focus on that which can get my head back to where I want to be.

Children
  • Thank you Loz, i tried journal writing before, but thatcwas more a diary format and it made things worse. I really like how you explained yours, that sounded so much better.

    I have a GP appointment today and I'm hoping that will help also. Right now I have no idea what's going on, I can't seem to catch my breath.

    I will take your advice on the bullet journal, it might help me keep things in perspective. Thank you.  Though I will probably spend a month just designing the pages lol.