Opinions of others?

Yes. My sister said just yesterday when i told her, "well isnt everyone a bit Autistic?" No they are not! Or we wouldnt have the problems we do!. Good luck with finding out how to be the best version of you, you can!

Hey Plastic, this is a great way to describe the mechanisms that pool into the overwhelming barrage of stimulae.

Of course you will have tried it I'm sure, but ive been meditating twice a day minimum solidly for 6 months, slowly altering my response to things. So when loud noise would normally effect me I'm now able to respond less abruptly. It's a work in progress, and stil have many problems, but it has helped a lot in calming my bodily responses, so might be of use?

I feel I can do a lot to change the way I respond to triggers, as it's my response which is the actual problem.

It's the one thing I potentially can effect, as I know I can't control external forces (sadly)

Hopefully, the people who know you best are well accustomed to you, and accept you for who you are, so they might tell you they do not see a reason to put a label on your 'weirdness'. This can feel like gaslighting, even if they mean well.

I think finding out about autism is helping me figure out my identity and make sense of my life, but tbh this is no-one else's business so I'm not even going to tell certain people unless I want to and the time is right. It's your own decision and most people won't understand unfortunately (how could they?).

(side note: some people who might laugh it off are probably autistic themselves, or at least share several autistic traits so they see nothing 'weird' about you. In particular, people you share DNA with and people with similar skills/interests to you are more likely to be on the spectrum. But most will not appreciate being confronted about it.)

Hi Canadiangirl,

I assure you, you are NOT alone, I can also say that there are people on here that will help you and certainly "understand"  As I have discovered. Which has been a great help. So hang in there.

CanadianGirl said:

I feel like I'm pretty darn good at masking, and I know I hide a lot of things, due to the extreme bullying I endured throughout grade school. I'm just feeling hurt by realizing that even those closest to me don't really see me or my struggles. 

That's very common with girls - so good at masking that people don't see the stress.

I try to explain to people by saying my life is like living in a Las Vegas Casino - everything it too bright, too smelly too noisy too chaotic etc. to be able to get my head together to concentrate.      

My fight-or-flight is set permanently to 100% so my brain is constantly waiting for a surprise attack so it's constantly looking for escape routes - there is no peace or calm.

I've noticed that people tend to look at things as an island. This might lead to this, which might lead to that, etc. But people only see the individual things.

It takes a while for people to connect it all together so the fact that they are laughing it off, is because they are looking at you, someone they have know for a long time, is suddenly saying that this thing which seems small and insignificant or perhaps a cute little quirk, or an annoyance is part of a 'condition' that they don't understand other than what the media has shown it to be.

They don't see that this could be part of a larger explanation. They don't see it as you struggling, they just it as this one thing your mentioning that seems to be an insignificant part of the person they believe you to be.

The people closest to you are probably just ignorant (not maliciously) and don't understand. As harsh as this sounds what they think doesn't actually matter it's what you and health professionals think that matters.

Yup, you're not alone, the only person who actually believed me when I first told them was my sister who is both more aware of my struggles than most and has worked with Autistic people before. Mum now believes me since I got my ADHD diagnosis and part of that report suggested a strong likelihood of ASD and GP agreed and referred me. My Stepdad just full-on ignored it.

As far as I'm concerned as long as they change their tunes once I'm diagnosed and in the meantime actually listen to me when I ask them to respect my requests then I'm not going to sweat it too much.

CanadianGirl,

You're not alone on this, I've listened to many autistic people and this seems very common among females. It's now seen females do mask better and unfortunately the diagnostic criteria is gender bias, because of the bias people don't know the signs of a female being autistic as well as they can recognise males. At first they thought autism is a condition only men have.

It's good that you're recording your research and including life experiences relating to your research. When you feel you've researched enough share it with your GP if you wish for a diagnosis, if you get diagnosed it will leave those laughing it off in regret.

If you feel it in your gut go for it, our gut or nervous system is now viewed as a second brain by professionals.

yes that's is a valid thing to do ---- may be tell your mum she should be ok with it, well I hope she is. I found it good to tell people, just some people like my autistic nephew.

I have purposefully not told anyone because I know that few would believe me and my family would be especially opposed. I'm waiting until my diagnosis.

I think even after my diagnosis I might not tell my parents. My dad in particular would likely refuse to believe it and be rather nasty to me about it.

It terrible that  those closest to you dont really take your suffering seriously. You are certainly not alone..  Most of my family still dont even know.

My mum didnt take it seriously until i mentioned that she doesn't see me as different because she is the same as me, autistic.  I just let her be ---- she is a perfect mum in my eyes.

hi CanadianGirl

i may have mentioned this to u before . But also mention ( make a list of )  all blood relatives that are autistic or ADHD/ADDor "weird"  in your surrounding Family.

Also list the occasions when anyone has said to you that you are different/autistic/weird/awkward

Don't worry, you're not alone. When I first started suspecting that I'm autistic, before I got my diagnosis, my friends didn't believe me either, but I believe this is largely due to ignorance. Most NTs think that we are either like Sheldon Cooper, or non-verbal.

One of my NT friends who was dismissive of me in the past has reached out and apologised, after he read the book "Aspergirls", because a girl he was dating at the time was on the spectrum, and the book reminded him of me.

I think once you get your diagnosis, people will be more accepting and understanding. Good luck!