Marriage and Autism

Are there any other married people here?

I have a lot of difficulty communicating with my husband. Even after 15 years, I cannot really tell him how I am feeling about things. It's strange.. I can arrange the words in my head, and plan what to say, but then when I open my mouth absolutely nothing comes out. I just freeze. It's like the words are either stuck or have disappeared. 

He of course gets very frustrated with this. My husband is excellent at communicating how he feels about things. He is really good at reading people and all that kind of stuff. So when it comes time for us to have a serious conversation about something, he gets very frustrated when I can't talk. In the past, he would just keep pushing me until I got angry enough to just explode. He pats himself on the back for this, claiming that he's finally gotten me to share my feelings / the truth. Except.. the things I eventually would blurt out were maybe not really accurate, or incomplete. Something I could never communicate to him.

I have gotten a bit better over the last few years, but this is still something we struggle with. I'm just wondering if there's anyone one there who has any "tricks" to get through this?

Parents
  • I've been married over 20 years and I do think my wife is probably on the Spectrum too (but not diagnosed - she got a fairly high AQ score)

    She is happy to do all the up front stuff in shops and pubs (ie she does all the taking and paying) 

    She accepts that I prefer to visit the same pubs/cafes/restaurants/holiday destinations as I do (although she does like to explore out of a resort, when I wouuld rather stay in the hotel bar).

    We are nor particularly tactile to each other or "lovey dovey"  Personally, I would have preferrred a slightly more bubbly person but I can't really complain.

Reply
  • I've been married over 20 years and I do think my wife is probably on the Spectrum too (but not diagnosed - she got a fairly high AQ score)

    She is happy to do all the up front stuff in shops and pubs (ie she does all the taking and paying) 

    She accepts that I prefer to visit the same pubs/cafes/restaurants/holiday destinations as I do (although she does like to explore out of a resort, when I wouuld rather stay in the hotel bar).

    We are nor particularly tactile to each other or "lovey dovey"  Personally, I would have preferrred a slightly more bubbly person but I can't really complain.

Children
No Data