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Masking and Unmasking

TheLoneWolf

I find this video really interesting......what do you all think of this?

I want to hear from everyone....but female peeps, especially please chime in. I rarely bring up gender. I feel equal...I demand respect-I don't need to talk about it or try for it.

However, I think there is a universal reaction that when a man is direct--he's respected/taken well......when a woman is direct--she's a ***/intimidating/not taken well.

I feel like I've ignored this fact in my past...and have thought in the past that people should be evolved enough to not take it that way---and yet I tend to get specific reactions....mostly negative, some positive/respectful. Sometimes starts as negative and warms up to positive over time.

Thoughts?


Parents

  • I have the feeling, and I may be wrong, that the form that masking takes in the genders is developmentally distinct. However, I would not assert that this is entirely black and white, or that a mixture of both types is not fairly common. From what I have read and heard, female masking is often based on copying the behaviour of peers. In some instances an autistic girl will pick out a single other girl. who is popular and is esteemed by the peer-group, and model her interests, dress, and mannerisms on this girl. In that way autistic females integrate into a neurotypical group and, in essence, mask by imitation. I suspect, largely from my own experiences, that male masking is less reliant on imitation and is more based on the identification of traits that make the autistic male stand out from their neurotypical peers. Such traits are then rigorously suppressed. It is less imitative and more analytical. The result of both approaches is identical, the autistic person presents a neurotypical mask to the world. The 'female approach' may reflect the generally higher social capability of autistic females, compared to their male counterparts.

  • in reply to Martin

    You may be thinking about passive and active masking. I think males use passive masking more- suppression of autistic traits, whereas females generally may use active masking and therefore copy and adopt neurotypical behaviours.

    This may be an oversimplification- it is just a thought.

  • in reply to Ausomely Autistic

    I learned not to bore friends with my fascination with big cats, and would try to limit my spinning (a stim), but I never pretended to have any interest whatsoever in football. So I was suppressing rather than imitating. If that is passive masking, then yes, though it felt like the suppression was quite an active choice. 

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