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Masking and Unmasking

TheLoneWolf

I find this video really interesting......what do you all think of this?

I want to hear from everyone....but female peeps, especially please chime in. I rarely bring up gender. I feel equal...I demand respect-I don't need to talk about it or try for it.

However, I think there is a universal reaction that when a man is direct--he's respected/taken well......when a woman is direct--she's a ***/intimidating/not taken well.

I feel like I've ignored this fact in my past...and have thought in the past that people should be evolved enough to not take it that way---and yet I tend to get specific reactions....mostly negative, some positive/respectful. Sometimes starts as negative and warms up to positive over time.

Thoughts?


Parents

  • Just over an hour into the video, they talk about knowing how much info to give in social situations and use the example of "how are you?" "I'm fine I did X at the weekend" and then if the other person doesn't ask further questions then they aren't interested. 

    At work I'm a very likeable person and I think one of yhe reasons is that I always enquire further even when I'm not interested or I'm busy. I think it's more than politeness because I think it's that I've learned "you should show an interest in other people". Now I know why people often talk to me more than I want them to. I need to show I'm not interested.

    Having said that, on the times when I haven't enquired further, or before I have even asked a question to enquire further, people will still tell me the additional information. This is what confuses me because it's said people on the spectrum sometimes have difficulties with social rules but I often find that other people (who I would say are definitely not on the spectrum) seem tO go against these rules.

    Which then brings me on to each situation is fluid and flexible and that's probably where the problem lies because rules which autistic people learn as part of masking can bend depending on the situation.

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  • Just over an hour into the video, they talk about knowing how much info to give in social situations and use the example of "how are you?" "I'm fine I did X at the weekend" and then if the other person doesn't ask further questions then they aren't interested. 

    At work I'm a very likeable person and I think one of yhe reasons is that I always enquire further even when I'm not interested or I'm busy. I think it's more than politeness because I think it's that I've learned "you should show an interest in other people". Now I know why people often talk to me more than I want them to. I need to show I'm not interested.

    Having said that, on the times when I haven't enquired further, or before I have even asked a question to enquire further, people will still tell me the additional information. This is what confuses me because it's said people on the spectrum sometimes have difficulties with social rules but I often find that other people (who I would say are definitely not on the spectrum) seem tO go against these rules.

    Which then brings me on to each situation is fluid and flexible and that's probably where the problem lies because rules which autistic people learn as part of masking can bend depending on the situation.

Children