Published on 12, July, 2020
I have Aspergers, and have been talking to someone I like as a friend (and also secretly fancy!) on Instagram, and it's been going well. I also followed them on TikTok and liked some of their posts, but they haven't followed me back. I have been really nervous about this, and am scared that our relationship is fake or less somehow because of this. I know that they haven't posted again since I followed them, but then I remembered whenever someone follows me on TikTok I'm notified on the home-screen of my phone, so I got scared and thought "What if they have seen my follow and likes, why haven't they followed me back?". I've been trying to separate the anxiety from myself (like labelling it), as I know it is irrational. Do you guys go through similar anxieties, and how do you deal with it?
i dont have a phone.
you think
" having an anxious thought about x not following me " (no "I" ) that labels the thought and separates it from you but i do this in a 30 min meditation each day watching all thoughts
Yes I have mine turned off too.
There's also the possibility that they don't have notifications turned on. I hate getting notifications ping up on my phone so they're turned off on everything except my calendar. I know some others who do the same. If they haven't posted since you followed them, they may not even know. It's worth remembering.
What are you hoping for from this connection? Is there a possibility of having a friendship beyond social media?
Today's people don't use social media for it's original purpose. Even though social media was designed to make us more connected, it has ended up making the world less social and disconnected from each other.
Some people use social media as a coping mechanism.
Some people use it to express what they're scared to express in person.
Some compete for likes to make themselves feel better.
Some use it as a fantasy world to replace the real world.
Some use it to make money, they will flatter and seduce people to follow them and subscribe.
Social media when misused is just like a dangerous drug. Studies all around the world have linked a mass increase of depression, stress and anxiety to the excessive use of social media, they've even found that the more someone uses social media the more socially isolated they feel, and the more socially isolated they feel, the more they want to use social media.
I would say to deal with this disconnect from what's causing you anxiety, if it's a particular channel that stopped listening to you as soon as you followed, they're most likely despitefully using you, you don't have to disconnect from social media, but disconnect from the parts you're anxious and insecure about.
I will sound cruel, but this social media irrational anxiety is not limited to autism. It's shared by tens of millions of people.
Go outside and get some fresh air, if possible talk to real people. Forget this social media insanity.