Problems with authority

Does anyone else have problems with authority?

I've had problems with authority pretty much all my life - at school, at university, when I used to work etc. It's also been an issue in social groups, I tend to piss off the ring leaders (who often are narcissists lol) and end up collectively shunned/ostracised by the whole group. I don't mean to cause drama or make waves - why would I want the stress and the hassle - but it seems to happen everywhere I go. To me, rules need to make logical sense in order for me to follow them, otherwise I just... don't. I also can't stand hypocrisy, if people do one thing but say another, and there is one set of rules for them and one for everyone else. NTs seem to follow rules without question, and they seem to have a 6th sense of what not to say to important people... but I just don't get it. Also, I don't like being treated or spoken to like I'm inferior.

Does anyone else have this problem or is it just me...? One of my best friends is also aspie and she has the same problem, but I have met other aspie females who seem to blend in seamlessly, and even excuse the terrible behaviour of their "superiors"... needless to say, we did not get along.

  • I can't seem to keep my mouth shut even if I try, so these days I just avoid people.

  • Wow, what a twat - I can't believe he got away with it for so long! But then again not really that surprised, because men in positions of authority do get away with stuff like that.

  • I have struggled all my life with this exact problem. I've since learned to lessen the stress on myself by choosing my battles. But that comes late in life now, we can't battle everything, just try to steer the ship on a better path

  • I feel the exact way you do the one thing people can't stand. Is to be questioned when they are in a position of power. You have a fighting spirit don't let them take that away from you.

  • there are respectful ways to lead a group and respectful ways to be an authority figure. if the leader is outright being disrespectful you nor anyone should put up with that. but for example if you sign up for the army you know what you sign up for that said school and typical workplaces are not the army. 

    personally have always preferred direction but with respect and not to be belittled as i know my capabilities and value to the team. if you dislike being under an authority regardless maybe you should lead by example and be the leader you desire. leaders have their place and i believe we need them.

  • Your not alone

    I understand what you are saying as I have also lived this existence.

    I have a habit of pissing people off and saying the wrong or inappropriate thing. 

    Not everyone deserves it and I don't intend on creating friction.

    I find certain people difficult to deal with. 

    Some take advantage of the fact that I'm on the spectrum and rail road me for answers on the spot when I need time to digest there BS before agreeing to something that's for there benefit and not mine.

    In most situations I feel like a piece of a jigsaw that was manufactured with a malfunction and doesn't fit.

    If I don't regularly check in with myself and reflect my behaviour becomes irritable and confrontational.

    I can't stand most authoritative figures (especially in a work setting) as they think that they're infallible. 

    I have gone to great lengths before now. Playing along, observing their actions, watching for weaknesses to expose or exploit. Only fair if that's what they do and it's kind of what western culture has raised us all to do. I'm merely mirroring what I see. I am a product of my surroundings.

    Usually doing and saying nothing is the best move. Stay off their radar wherever you can. 

    I don't always manage this as some injustice will occur and I have challenged and spoke out in a way that perhaps made me come off worse.

    To catch these types of narcissists out you have to let them fall into the spotlight of others and let them do the talking. A gentle push here or there helps.

    I once had a senior member of staff who I'd developed a rivalry with but no amount of outrage and calling them out worked.

    I changed tact. I waited, observed, let them get comfortable and it all spilled out.

    This guy would regularly abuse his position by sexually harassing staff and negging the waitresses. He once abused a member of staff who had tourette's by burning him with a heated piece of cutlery. 

    I'd circle him quietly encouraging people to speak up and come forward as there was a culture of silence and acceptance in the particular restaurant. There upper management knew what was going on but did nothing to intercept it for the most part. 

    This was working for one of the UK'S top celebrity chef's who himself had a similar track record of malpractice.

    Eventually it was the kid with tourette's that spoke up after I encouraged him to not let it slip. 

    I didn't have to have it out publicly with him as I had done in the past. His house of cards came down of his own making. 

    All I had to do was study, gain his trust and use strategy.

    I hate seeing these types of people abuse there positions unfortunately it's everywhere even in the sectors that are supposed to protect and care.

    News flash (spoiler alert!) Monsters exist!

  • You shouldn't feel bad about it, you did the right thing and you were just being honest. Glad you weren't sacked. NTs seem to turn a blind eye to toxicity, or they think it's normal.

  • I once wrote several pages on why a workplace was toxic and gave it to my boss.  Someone intervened to make sure I wasn't sacked - the boss left shortly after.  I sort of feel bad about it, but I was only saying things how I saw them - I offered to destroy it after he had read it - he thought I had said that for my benefit - I hadn't considered that, I said it for his benefit.