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Relationship issue

Ellie 567

Hello 

I am wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. I am diagnosed with High Functioning Autism and I have been with my partner now for around 4 years. An issue that I note that occurs is that I suddenly lose interest in my partner and has me thinking I no longer want to be with them anymore. This can happen seemingly out of the blue but I think a lot of it is to do with being bored. I don’t talk to my partner about it because I don’t want to hurt his feelings, I just wondered if this was to do with my autism. 

i also note I have this with my obsessions in that I would be interested in one thing, and then suddenly I get bored and am no longer interested. So I think this might be related to my relationship somehow. Has anyone else had this experience with their relationships? Any advice would be really appreciated 

many thanks 

Parents

  • Yes I do this. With my first proper boyfriend I was a compulsive cheat and I pretty much used him for lots of conveniences whilst keeping myself sexually stimulated elsewhere. I did love him and I still think about him now even though we are both much more grown up now and married to other people, so it wasn't like he completely didn't matter.

    As I say, I'm married now and a bit older, I've stopped having sex with everyone I vaguely like being around, and I'm a mum. I think becoming a mum has probably put an end to my behaviour more than anything else as I've physically changed and I'm not as sexually confident, plus I have less time to myself to even have opportunity for my attention to stray to others.

    I think this all sounds pretty awful and I've often felt like a terrible person. I have little doubt that had I not become a parent then I may be in a very different place right now in my life. I suppose one of the issues I have is that 1. sex isn't always intimate for me so I don't associate it with love and 2. I love the excitement of meeting someone new. I love the idea of that process more than caring about the people themselves, so in the case of my ex, I didnt necessarily like people more than I liked him, I just enjoyed the thrill of a new person. 

    I'm happily married now and I don't cheat though. It does take a lot of effort to stay interested in someone that you know so well. I suppose I've learnt as I've got a bit older that life cannot always be exciting! 

  • in reply to M

    Thank you for your reply, I do relate to what you are saying about looking for excitement, thank you for taking the time to read my post and for replying Slight smile

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