# Daily Updates 2 #

Worked over regular hours today and I'm really feeling it. Another meeting overran (which was a walkthrough of some data visualisation) which I could provided feedback within a few minutes if I'd been given the pack up front. This put me behind so was playing catchup. However the additional responsibilities (which really is just managing the stuff that gets cascaded to me any way) are helping me to consider how I can make requests of others to make things easier - especially when it comes to meetings - which I do find very, very draining.

On the plus side I explained to one of my senior managers which types of meetings I found difficult and why and she "got it" which was refreshing - happy I disclosed. It really helps when there's some understanding and a positive reaction to something I've explained. . So, agenda, clear topics for discussion and systematic walkthrough - fine! Peering at a teams call with 6 faces all animated at the same time with topics and responses flying back and forward - that is really, really difficult. I find I shut off from engaging while I try and track the flow of the conversation. She got that. Win.

It's also good for me. The worldview of "everything is chaos" (part of my mission to discharge the frustration of using a worldview of how people fall short of how things "should be" and dealing with things are they are) and "which bits do I need to invest in or worry about" (stoicism finally starts to slot into place!) is starting to shape my outlook. I even pulled back from a conversation which was in danger of turning into a gripe session, so I could go and do something else. Usually I'd get sucked in trying to "fix" things and then berate myself when I realise I can't and I've just wasted a hour. Even if things are chaos my bit of autonomy is helping me handle it much better.

Disclosure means I can say "I'm struggling..." and not feel bad about it. Years ago I'd have beaten myself up for not being more social in meetings, not so long ago I found everyone too social, now I get why meetings go the way they do and why I see them the way I do. There's a fair amount of freedom from figuring that out - and being able to say "that last hour was really tiring" just so everyone is aware I need some space for a bit, even though they're buzzing.

I reckon most meetings could be reduced by 50%.

I reckon most meetings could be reduced by 50%.