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My son's being schemed against at school. Any advice?

iain9abf

Hi,

I've got to attend an "emergency meeting" at my son's school which has just been arranged for tomorrow because of his disruptive behaviour and he's also made a few inappropriate and offensive comments.

However, his mum (they live in Dorset, I'm in London) told me this morning that there is a group of kids at his school who have been putting him into situations where he'll get into trouble, and they've also been sending hurtful messages to him over the weekend, like "autistic ***", "disabled", and other names. His mum told me that they've been trying to get him expelled from school.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation and, if so, what did they find was helpful?

I'm sure the school has their own policy on this kind of thing and the fact that his mum now has evidence of his being harassed and bullied should change the complexion of how they view his disruptive behaviour but I'd just like to go into the meeting with some helpful suggestions moving forward.

Many thanks Slight smile

  • in reply to mael

    Thanks for your reply mael.

    I haven't had too much direct experience with the school due to living 110 miles away. We had a zoom chat a few weeks ago though, about my son being defiant and aggressive, at home and their approach surprised me. Thy were quite pro-active and supportive, which I didn't expect. In my day I'd have had six of the best lol

    I'm hoping that they will be similarly supportive this time around, but I'll have my bases covered just in case. Thank you again for your reply, How do you find homeschooling yours? I'd imagine it must be challenging.

  • in reply to NAS72949

    Thank you so much for your email. That's horrible what you've had to go through, I'm so sorry to hear that. The fact that you've managed to get your son into fitness and that he's got a good career in spite of being failed by the education system is inspirational, and it's amazing that you've selflessly devoted yourself to working for SEN students to ensure that others don't fall foul of the same failings that your son has had to endure.

    I've called my brother this evening for advice. He's an operations manager at a school and he suggested reading through the schools policies. I've downloaded their policies on:

    Anti-bullying

    Equality

    Student Wellbeing

    Complaints Procedure

    Behaviour

    I'll be reading these on the train on the way to Dorset but I hope that the meeting will be a positive and conciliatory one. I always find it's better to try and work with people and reach a consensus than to get into a slanging match lol

    Take care Slight smile

  • See what the school is like ,some will just blame you or try to blame him ,remember actions speak louder than words . I home school mine as mainstream was/ would destroy them.

  • in reply to iain9abf

    This is very sad to hear, my son was bullied in a mainstream school until he was finally permanently excluded at 12 years old. My advice is to go to the local area County Hall if you have no luck today and get advice from an Educational Department within it, state what has happened to your son, so you have your back side covered if the school starts to be difficult and wont deal with the bullies. The school has a duty of care to educate your son in a safe environment and so they have to a hear to all their Policy standards and government legislation, I think that they will deal with the bullies (if they're as good as you say), however if they don't, go back to the County Hall Educational dept. Unfortunately the school blamed me for his behaviour, so I had to find an educational solicitor to take my case free of charge, to prove other wise, she asked the school for his educational records and looked into the back ground. All I can say is that the Head mistress then later left her job and never came back, she failed my son, putting him on a chair facing the wall for "being Naughty?"  He is 29 now and has had little or no education because he was ignored for so long that there was no way back for him, however I streamed him into fitness and now has a good career in MMA. Remember they have A DUTY OF CARE to keep him safe and educated whilst he is in THEIR care, After this I worked with SEN students for 10 years to help this from happening to other children in schools, so they could have an education and move on.

  • in reply to Peter

    Thanks for the advice Peter.

    I knew that my son was having his differences with other kids at his school but I wasn't aware of the extent. Reading the abusive messages he received was upsetting but, given that his mother and I will be attending a meeting with the school tomorrow about his inappropriate comments and disruptive behaviour, it's proven to be fortuitously good timing as it highlights a probable reason for his behaviour and that this needs to be addressed.

    The school he goes to is a very good one. I'll wait to see what they say on the matter and what their policy is on discrimination and how they intend to deal with it. Fingers crossed it all goes well. Thanks again.

  • You know we tend to think of discrimination in terms of the discriminatory things people do but the things they don't do can be discrimination too. Not looking into whether there is a malicious campaign by other students to get your son expelled, when there is some evidence to suggest there is, may amount to indirect discrimination / failiour to make reasonable adjustments. You may wish to point this out to the school. #notlegaladvice

  • get the evidence so u have it. bring it to the emergency meeting