Verbal Communication & Social Interaction .

Yeh it remember hearing something about it releases a protein or something ,i used to do river swimming and alot of running when i was younger,my eldest did a 100 mile race last year.I don't think i would ever get that fit again but it would be nice to be fitter.

Thanks out_of_step. That's very useful to know. 

That's horrendous mael. Have you had any professional medical help or rehabilitation ? I know these things are hard to shift completely and like a lot of mental health conditions, can only be managed. I have heard cold water swimming is a good therapy for trauma. I know someone diagnosed with complex PTSD ( war zone trauma ) does this on a regular basis. 

There is a documentary I watched called ' Resurface ' you may find helpful and also a guy on Youtube called The Ice Man who has gathered a lot of scientific evidence of what cold water swimming does to the brain & body. 

I would hope, if you are parting with a lot of money, they would do both types of assessment. I was worried I had read so much about autism that it would  influence what I'd said in thr developmental history but all I did was give concrete examples from my own experience.  They even gleaned other information which I hadn't considered from this. The people who i saw were extremely knowledgeable and aware of the nuances within presentations of autism so we're able to ask the right questions.

The ADOS....is probably difficult to influence as its a very surreal experience. It confirmed what I thought about myself plus other stuff. It gave more meaning to my report as it was the judgement of two professionals against some set standards. This means I cannot doubt my diagnosis (which has happened a couple of times).  It really really helped me understand how I operate around other people.

For me, I had been searching for a long time as to why I felt different.  This involved looking for answers in my own head long before Google came along. None of my friends have ever considered themselves to be on the spectrum because they obviously don't feel "different" enough for it to cause problems. (Anxiety being the main one!)

my father was 100% on the spectrum ,he was an mod electrical draughtsman ,he used to oversee the instillation of missile guidance systems ,sea wolf ,polaris ,i remember going on a open day round a type 22 frigate,he had loads of offers of promotion but never took them as it would of meant moving, every mealtime had to be exactly on time ,he had major ocd and he would sit for hours studying the Ceefax share prices .He only spoke to me 3 times other then abusive put downs,  he would explode when the pressure got to much ,which my mother could manipulate towards me.  I used to keep away from them ,eat on my own ,go out all day from about 9 / 10 years old, when i was young he used to put me to bed and hold a pillow over my head until i pass out ,i thought it was a game ,i had to struggle and get free, so i would stay still to let him win ,but you always struggle before you pass out . I didn't realise it wasn't a game until i was 17 . There was some bad stuff .the best way i can describe it is there is a dark cloud in my head that makes a wall ,it is full of terror and pain and memories ,if  i get to close to it i start shutting down ,shaking and rocking and not being able to breath ,just blind panic .so frankly being really honest to a doctor about me scares the hell out of me ,There so going to ask me about my childhood .  I suppose i just say i can't handle talking about it and just tell them a few bits i have been able to deal with like the pillow thing .  

mael said:

i think as soon as i open up about my childhood they are going to blame that

Any assessor who knows their stuff will see you a mile away - the discussion is them probing where your edges are.

I was diagnosed back in 2008 and I've done a lot of learning - I can easily spot aspies - male and female - and I get confirmation directly they speak - we all seem to follow a very distinct pattern.  

Go to any model train exhibition and sit and study - it's soooooo obvious!  

mael said:

I worry about going for an assessment , i think as soon as i open up about my childhood they are going to blame that, it's a really stressful thing to decide ,

But doesn't the environment play a big part in the causes too ? I think I read Gabor Mate saying the genes are open to go one way or another with the environment being a factor in that. There are also many diagnosed ASD and Adverse childhood experiences ( ACE ). I think I also read that parents don't need to be fully on the spectrum to pass those certain genes on. 

Plastic said:

the NTs would be playing status games and out-doing each other - it's fascinating to watch.

Yes I've seen it. There is much competition, jealousy and immaturity. 

Plastic said:

you can actually feel the manipulation going on but be unable to find the words to fight back.

Yes I've been there when I was younger, dumbfounded sometimes.

Plastic said:

Also, as you get older, your ability to mask diminishes so you get to a position where all your subconscious auto-masking runs out of puff and people start to notice your behaviour changing - getting irritable or giving a really inappropriate comment accidentally.- we see a lot of people on here realising they're different when it all falls down in middle age..

Yeah I guess when you have been oblivious of something for so long and then the penny drops, it can all get too overwhelming and you just don't have the energy anymore for your previous life of masking. It's a very daunting place to be in as you question your identity with one foot in your previous life and the other in no man's land.

Yes, I often wonder do they know they are doing it.

Yes they are major indicators ,i had speech therapy, my children did to , talking is a real strain ,long silences ,not knowing what to say , was alright with people i knew as a child ,but exhausting having to talk .I have really tried to do the chatting thing ,but am just hopeless at it .  There are various areas ,some people are worst in different areas ,my nephew was diagnosed with adhd and aspergers  very violent ,my daughter was diagnosed with aspergers very quiet.

I worry about going for an assessment , i think as soon as i open up about my childhood they are going to blame that, it's a really stressful thing to decide , there is the perception that if you pay privately you get a better service but not always the case ,could be the same doctor in fact  .    

Hiya

The problem with being one of us is you probably don't notice all the strange things you do that people just accept as being you.      There's a general sloppiness and flexibility about interactions so people of different abilities somehow get on.

If you sat down with 2 groups, one bunch of aspies and one bunch of NTs and moved back and forth as an observer, you'd see that there's a very different dynamic going on - the aspies would tend to be talking about physical things or experiences, the NTs would be playing status games and out-doing each other - it's fascinating to watch.

Until you see it in action and feel the pull of where you fit, it's difficult to explain - and you might also have been lucky to have never been in 'crunch' conversations where you can actually feel the manipulation going on but be unable to find the words to fight back.

Also, as you get older, your ability to mask diminishes so you get to a position where all your subconscious auto-masking runs out of puff and people start to notice your behaviour changing - getting irritable or giving a really inappropriate comment accidentally.- we see a lot of people on here realising they're different when it all falls down in middle age..

If you think you might fit the criteria - go for it - what's the worst that can happen?  

It's not rambling at all. It's very helpful to me. Are those 2 types of assessments the standard in the private sector or is this something extra so to speak you felt you needed ?

Unknown said:

People who feel relatively normal, who don't question their place in social interactions, don't go looking for reasons why they feel different. If you feel different it's probably because you are.

I'm glad you said this. It really hit home for me. 

this all sounds familiar. I get bored when people labor through a long winded point so i often either talk over them, or move on. i can tell some colleagues and family dont like it and think im rude, but i have so much going on in my head processing, i cant handle the time wasting

Yes I did becase i mask very well and didn't think id be believed. I had an ADOS ASSESSMENT and a developmental assessment / interview. It was expensive but worth every penny. I got a really lengthy report which explained how I met the ados criteria and reflected on my experiences from the developmental interview. It also detailed recommendations.  It was all spot on.

I was actually on the NHS waiting list at the time and had completed the developmental interview. No disrespect to the NHS staff who carried this out but the private one was more in depth...Obviously this is just one experience of assessmemt.

I wanted to cancel my private appointment several times but my partner encouraged me to stay on track. I went into it with an open mind but I'm so glad I did it. It's helped me understand so much more and given insight into things which I hadn't really considered.

People who feel relatively normal, who don't question their place in social interactions, don't go looking for reasons why they feel different. If you feel different it's probably because you are.

Sorry it's a bit of a rambling post. I'm trying to show you I felt similar to you pre assessment.

Another edit - I got diagnosed with ASC subtype Aspergers (altho it's going out of use they said it still best describes the characteristics I showed). I think previously for "classic autism" there were speech and language delays but not for Aspergers. Now it all comes under the umbrella of ASC for both. I think!

Thanks for your encouragement. Did you go private ?

I have good verbal skills this was picked up at assessment but they said during exchanges I gave too much or not enough information. I've never had any physical speech problems.  I also feel that I have to constsntly work things out and interaction is not intuitive. Don't doubt yourself, stick with going for an assessment because it'll come back to you at some point in the future...the need to get assessed.