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New diagnosis 18 year old daughter

NAS72859

Hi,

My daughter has struggled since late primary school and during her secondary school years went downhill with anxiety and depression and self harming. Through cAMHs finally just prior to her 18th birthday she was diagnosed with ASD. She is on Fluoxetine for anxiety and depression and this seems to have improved her mood. 

She is high functioning and loves her gaming PC. Since her diagnosis she has changed a lot. I’m wondering if this is a release because she now knows why she has been struggling for years and years. For me, I feel like she is a different girl. This is a good thing but since diagnosis it’s like I don’t know her anymore. Has anyone else experienced this? 


I’d just welcome advice on how to deal with a diagnosis. As a mum I feel lost and worry about her every day. I don’t sleep anymore as she used to run from the house although this has settled down recently. Also, she’s hoping to go to Uni and I worry how she will cope. 
Thanks for any support, advice in advance. 

Parents

  • Dear Daniel,

    Thank you so much for replying in such a kind and understanding way. Everything you have said has helped a great deal and will allow me a better understanding of my daughter. 

    She has recently had the PC and it has made a huge improvement to her well-being. I get that it takes her to a safe place where she can switch off. The changes in her have been remarkable since her diagnosis and I absolutely believe as you have said that it helps make sense of the past and helps her understand her past struggles.

    I really hope she will be able to fulfil her dream to go to Uni and manage living alone. We will of course make sure that the Uni are fully aware and uni’s do seem very well equipped to support students these days.

    I am so grateful that you took the time to reply as post-diagnosis it is easy to feel lost with where to go for support. 

    Regards and best wishes to you. 

  • in reply to NAS72859

    Uni can be very supportive - they often have support teams that are clued up on autism - but some Unis are a bit rubbish - you need to talk to them and figure out how useful they would be.

    There's other things to consider - local uni or distant one?

    Local means support is minutes away and if the course hours are low, then commuting is much cheaper than staying in halls - and travel may be covered by DSA or local authority if a case can be made.

    Distant uni - how independent is she?      If she needs support, you're miles away - if she gets easily stressed, you could be doing a lot of travelling!

    What course is she looking at?      How much work is it?      Some are very hard - my daughter's friend is doing art - you would not believe the amount of work she has to produce!

    Some courses are easier - but disjointed - 2 hrs on a Monday, 3 on a Wednesday and maybe 1 hour on a Thursday - that means LOTS of hanging around doing nothing - getting bored and stressed - especially if she has no friends.

    Some also have a rubbish social scene - my daughter's uni basically closed on the weekends - nothing to do.

Reply
  • in reply to NAS72859

    Uni can be very supportive - they often have support teams that are clued up on autism - but some Unis are a bit rubbish - you need to talk to them and figure out how useful they would be.

    There's other things to consider - local uni or distant one?

    Local means support is minutes away and if the course hours are low, then commuting is much cheaper than staying in halls - and travel may be covered by DSA or local authority if a case can be made.

    Distant uni - how independent is she?      If she needs support, you're miles away - if she gets easily stressed, you could be doing a lot of travelling!

    What course is she looking at?      How much work is it?      Some are very hard - my daughter's friend is doing art - you would not believe the amount of work she has to produce!

    Some courses are easier - but disjointed - 2 hrs on a Monday, 3 on a Wednesday and maybe 1 hour on a Thursday - that means LOTS of hanging around doing nothing - getting bored and stressed - especially if she has no friends.

    Some also have a rubbish social scene - my daughter's uni basically closed on the weekends - nothing to do.

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