New diagnosis 18 year old daughter

I'm Autistic myself and have listened to lots of others during my 20+ years research on Autism. I can say according to those I've listened to this is a regular reaction to a late diagnosis.

One person I listened to was diagnosed when 25 and she said I quote, "when 25 I were diagnosed with Autism, and it wasn't a tragedy, it was the BEST thing that's ever happened to me. Finding out that I am Autistic brought me an OVERWHELMING sense of RELIEF, my whole LIFE up to that point FINALLY made sense. My paradigm about myself shifted, I were not a failed neurotypical person, I were a perfectly good autistic person." end quote.

Once this young woman found out she was Autistic she returned to university and is now a doctor, PhD. in Autism and an official member of The Autism Research Team.

Concerning anxiety, this is very common in people on The Autism Spectrum. In an autistic mind there's greater variation in the occipital lobes at the back of the brain that PhD. Thomas Armstrong says makes the mind work in a systematic way. This does explain things like the preference for routines and uncomfortable with changes, the autistic people I've listened to say when following a routine they feel much less anxiety. 

Concerning depression, this is also very common in autistic people. The most common type of depression is most likely "Situational Depression". When an individual is not able to adapt to the present circumstances a brain circuit in what's called the prefrontal cortex is disturbed and causes the depression. Since so many autistic people are uncomfortable with changes they can struggle to adapt to new circumstances. Psychological studies show that depressed people are wiser and have a more realistic evaluation of events. A good way to help with depression is gratitude, you could ask your daughter a couple of times a day to tell you something she's grateful for, it's been found that gratitude can even be a substitute for anti-depressents!

You don't want to be taking her away from her PC, it sounds like it's her special interest. Special or obsessive interests are part of an autistic person's well-being, it helps us calm down and take a break from the world.

This will be a new start for you both, try not to let fear gain control of you. As you've shared, she's no longer who she was so the daughter who was struggling to cope is not that way anymore, this is an opportunity to make an even greater relationship with your daughter. Saying she wants to go to Uni. is a sign she's feeling inspiration and knows what life she wants. I know it's hard to let go of things and people we've held on to for such a long time.

I hope this has helped in some way.

Kind regards

I'm Autistic myself and have listened to lots of others during my 20+ years research on Autism. I can say according to those I've listened to this is a regular reaction to a late diagnosis.

One person I listened to was diagnosed when 25 and she said I quote, "when 25 I were diagnosed with Autism, and it wasn't a tragedy, it was the BEST thing that's ever happened to me. Finding out that I am Autistic brought me an OVERWHELMING sense of RELIEF, my whole LIFE up to that point FINALLY made sense. My paradigm about myself shifted, I were not a failed neurotypical person, I were a perfectly good autistic person." end quote.

Once this young woman found out she was Autistic she returned to university and is now a doctor, PhD. in Autism and an official member of The Autism Research Team.

Concerning anxiety, this is very common in people on The Autism Spectrum. In an autistic mind there's greater variation in the occipital lobes at the back of the brain that PhD. Thomas Armstrong says makes the mind work in a systematic way. This does explain things like the preference for routines and uncomfortable with changes, the autistic people I've listened to say when following a routine they feel much less anxiety. 

Concerning depression, this is also very common in autistic people. The most common type of depression is most likely "Situational Depression". When an individual is not able to adapt to the present circumstances a brain circuit in what's called the prefrontal cortex is disturbed and causes the depression. Since so many autistic people are uncomfortable with changes they can struggle to adapt to new circumstances. Psychological studies show that depressed people are wiser and have a more realistic evaluation of events. A good way to help with depression is gratitude, you could ask your daughter a couple of times a day to tell you something she's grateful for, it's been found that gratitude can even be a substitute for anti-depressents!

You don't want to be taking her away from her PC, it sounds like it's her special interest. Special or obsessive interests are part of an autistic person's well-being, it helps us calm down and take a break from the world.

This will be a new start for you both, try not to let fear gain control of you. As you've shared, she's no longer who she was so the daughter who was struggling to cope is not that way anymore, this is an opportunity to make an even greater relationship with your daughter. Saying she wants to go to Uni. is a sign she's feeling inspiration and knows what life she wants. I know it's hard to let go of things and people we've held on to for such a long time.

I hope this has helped in some way.

Kind regards

Daniel said:

it wasn't a tragedy, it was the BEST thing that's ever happened to me. Finding out that I am Autistic brought me an OVERWHELMING sense of RELIEF, my whole LIFE up to that point FINALLY made sense. My paradigm about myself shifted, I were not a failed neurotypical person, I were a perfectly good autistic person." end quote.

I couldn't agree with you more I'm 22 I was diagnosed a month ago and I can definitely say that the person who was before diagnosis is not the same now but I think it's a good thing I'm finally learning to be who I am and not sure who I think I should be to make everyone around more comfortable with how I present myself to them and that is called masking if you didn't know already and it's caused me a lot of anxiety and depression throughout my life because it's so draining and time consuming and you don't spend time for your self only for the people around you.

For me its hard I can't see what other people see of me but I've been finding myself just be more self aware of my autistic tendencies because I've been teaching my self about it and every now then and then I'm like "oh ok that's an autistic thing" and I'm starting to be more open with MYSELF and maybe that's what your daughter is going through she's starting to realise who she and starting to be more comfortable be HER. That could be what you're seeing when you say 

NAS72859 said:

I feel like she is a different girl.

Don't sweat it just be there with her and be happy she is coming into her own person now. :)