Absolutely Exhausted

Worth exploring this.^^

I’ve started keeping a note of the days and activities to monitor anxiety levels and when I’ve shut down by the evening. I feel you! Sounds like my post work regime for last couple weeks. Can’t seem to get support at work to spread out demands of the say properly 

Now for me having to deal with other people or socialising for anything other than short periods leaves me feeling totally mentally and physically exhausted. I've been told this is due to my autism/Asperger's as I completely lack social instincts meaning I have to put considerable effort into socialising or communicating with others and is apparently common for people on the spectrum to find socialising and being around others exhausting.

That's said I would get a full check over with a doctor when possible to make sure nothing is wrong.

Pikl, how are you doing with what you mentioned in your post?

So today is Tuesday and if spoons really existed I feel I've used up them all up for the rest of the week. I didn't sleep well last night but can quite often manage ok. It hasn't been a particularly busy day at work but have really felt it today. Ive struggled with colleagues talking to me. I didnt miss this in lockdown wfh. Funnily enough, a colleague I "came out" to last week struck up a conversation when I was photocopying. I struggled to do either task - converse and photocopy. This is another example of, it doesn't matter who I tell, most people do. not. understand. 

I got home at half 4. I sat in the garden for over an hour reading stuff on my tablet then I just about managed to make tea. I haven't done anything since I got home. I can't concentrate because I'm so tired. I made sure I didn't have a nap but will go on a walk in a bit instead.

I feel this is no way to live. I used to think this is normal but I now know it isn't. 

Pikl  I'm so sorry I missed this important post from you x

In 2007, I was diagnosed with Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME).

https://www.cdc.gov/me-cfs/index.html

At times, I am confined to bed because of overwhelming fatigue that is never improved by rest. It's with me every day, and can rarely do much physical activity without having physical rest at a greater ratio (they call this pacing therapy). 

It feels like I have flu, but without the cold and runny nose. It started in1995 after a really bad upper respiratory infection, and it took over ten years to get to the bottom of what it was. 

I have regular injections of vitamin B12, and take vitamin C and D supplements twice a year.

It might be worth you looking into this as it's more common than people think, and it feels inexplicable when it's happening to you and very very hard to describe other than feeling exhausted.

Have you had any really bad infections/colds lately? 

Inexplicable fatigue can also be a symptom of depression. It can also be a delayed stress reaction. So, if you've been going through stressful times recently, and you've been keeping it together mentally and physically, once the situation has passed, you can then go into a delayed fatigue response.

It sounds to me like you are probably masking at work to yourself through the day. Particularly if you work with mainly NT colleagues. When you come home you stop masking and the exhaustion hit you like a train.

Pikl said:

Thank you! Honestly I rarely drink water, and I know I really should. Thank you for taking the time to help. I really do need to look after myself better, it's something I'm really bad at doing.

I often struggle with the water drinking thing myself actually ~ particular when I get stressed, as the freeze, hide, flight or fight reflex which all of us on the spectrum are stuck in, means that things like eating and drinking have to be habituated for some of us as they can get somewhat pushed back or else completely pushed off the need to do list.

Basically when the survival reflex is triggered the urge to socialise, eat and drink and all that gets bypassed in order that every resource of the body-mind relationship can be used to escape, hence the narrower ranges of interest and lesser capacity for social interaction, imagination and communication.

Any time I get stressed and overwhelmed by things ~ I completely and utterly forget to drink water (or fluids in general) and end up getting somewhat dehydrated, which gets rather uncomfortable and incredibly exhausting, hence me compensating for this by rehydrating in detoxifying baths every three and four days, no matter how dehydrated (or dessicated) I may or not be. 

I personally mix at least 400 grams (usually 800 grams to 1 kilogram) of Bicarbonate of Soda, 500 grams of Himalayan or Dead Sea salt and a handful or two of Magnesium flakes into a hot as possible bath, and after having drunk half a litre of water ~ I sauna-soak for a couple of hours until the water temperature goes lukewarm or cold. After which I drink another half a litre of water and go to bed.

I have been doing this religiously for about twenty-three years now, and it really helps me deal with having a hypertensive toxic body, and even if I cannot sleep (which is usually rare after a detox bath) I feel rather blissed out and relaxed which I seriously enjoy as an experiential contrast to how I otherwise feel physically.

Maybe give the bath-thing a go and see if it helps to sort the problem out, and if not so much it might help indicate whether your problem is otherwise metabolically related, perhaps.

Wow! Thank you for sharing Robert123, after all you went through and it was you who worked it out, not the professionals. So glad you're feeling better now.

Thank you Untoward! Jet lag is exactly how it feels, sorry you experience it too. I will definitely mention it to GP next week when we discuss the antidepressants. 

I go outside for my break, whatever the weather, just for the quiet.

Today it was a training day, different building, better lighting, I was happier and excitable. Got home home early, but by 4.30 I was feeling drained and had a sleep, woke up 20 mins ago.

I feel a lot better today, and that really says it all, I think.

You probably do more than most people.

It sounds like you are "swtiched on" constantly during the day. Is there a quiet place you can go to to get a break? I have to go to my car because there's nowhere else in my centre where I can be left alone. I don't ever get my full break but the time I have is spent listening to a podcast of something of my interest or putting a bit of music on. Do you have time to do, or do you do anything, which is of interest in your break time? This might help to just shift your focus a bit during your break.

I put a lot on myself too.  I like to maintain high standards but I've realised you can't aim for 100% because it's just not realistic. I think a lot of people blag their way through stuff but I like to do things right. Integrity is important....however, I've learned to be more forgiving of myself. This is possible and can still maintain standards. It's all work in progress but I think the fact you have identified you feel the way you do is a start. I'm also trying to be more honest with myself and say to others when I'm not right. Have you got anyone you can reach out to say "look, i'm struggling today"? Sometimes, it's just a text to someone, but it helps.

Ten years ago, I was completely exhausted after very little physical activity.

It turned into a drama trying to find the cause.

First, I went to my GP several times to complain.  This lead to several types of blood tests, including a visit to a hospital where they tested fresh blood on demand.

The initial diagnosis was a low red blood cell count.

The low red blood cell count was eventually blamed on a very low iron level in my blood.

This led to trying to find the cause of my low iron levels, was I a vegetarian?, What did I eat every day?

I was prescribed iron tablets which tasted absolutely disgusting.

The doctors never found the cause of my iron deficiency anemia.

I eventually looked at the patient information leaflets on my blood pressure medication and an iron deficiency was a common side effect.

I stopped taking all medications including the iron tablets.  After a few months my energy levels were normal.

That's how I've felt my entire life. It's exhausting. A lot of it is burnout and insomnia (trying to keep regular working hours despite my body being permanently jet-lagged).

But I did also discover that I was severely deficient in B12, and after having shots I felt amazing. I realised I had the energy levels of a 70 year old man for most of my 20s! So it's worth going to your GP and describing your symptoms because there are a number of things you can be deficient in to cause various forms of anemia or absorption issues relating to B vitamins or iron, or vitamin D, or if you are male, you might also be deficient in testosterone.

I work in a nursery supporting children with special educational needs. I do the planning, run activities, evaluate their needs and next steps for their development. I run intervention programs that I choose. I also have 2 NT children. 

I know I put a lot on myself, yet if I don't then I suffer greatly with anxiety that I don't do enough.

You don't want to get to the stage where it breaks you. It's good you have recognised it in yourself now and want to do something about it. I didn't realise at the time and it's only since I've had my AS diagnosis I can see how much of a load every day life at work puts onto me. It sounds like you have a big load on your senses at work. You aren't a teacher by any chance are you?!

Have you got kids too? I don't know how people manage to work and have a family.

Have you considered time off or reduced hours? This would give you chance to catch up a little bit and give your head some space. That would then help you think a bit more clearly about how you can address these problems and build in time for yourself. I know what its like when your brain is at full capacity - it doesn't give you room to think clearly or evaluate properly as you are constantly playing catch up.  Were there any recommendations in your report?

One thing - you need to be forgiving of yourself. You aren't a robot, you are a human being.

Thank you! Honestly I rarely drink water, and I know I really should. Thank you for taking the time to help. I really do need to look after myself better, it's something I'm really bad at doing.

Sorry you're feeling this way too, feeling this exhausted all the time is awful. Some days I feel that I can't continue this way. Work for me involves chaos, noise, bright lights, planning, being alert, focused and reactive. It's fast paced.

I've never heard of it, but will look it up, I definitely need help with concentration and motivation. Thank you.

Thank you Loz. I have an awful feeling it is work. I still need to be healthier and meditation is a great idea. Perhaps I need to look at what changes I can make to my working day. Thank you so much for your help.

Perhaps go on something like Cronometer, input the foods you eat and it will give you a good rundown of what your lacking. From there, you can either work to include those foods or vitamins that would supplement the things which are missing. I tend to shy away from most multi vitamins as they tend to just give a little of everything rather than what is useful to you. 

Having said that, it sounds like you might just be getting worn out with your work. Perhaps it's a question of factoring in some quiet time or seeing if you can structure it so it's less chaotic? If you enjoy it, you shouldn't give it up. But you actively should fit in recovery time. There are guided meditations which I find helpful. There are plenty on youtube, I always feel really refreshed afterwards. Could be worth a try?

Pikl said:

If anyone can offer advice, help, or an explanation I would be so very grateful. 

I arrive home from work and I'm so completely exhausted that I need a nap. I wake up still feeling totally drained and remain that way until I go to bed. Regardless of how much sleep I have, I will still awake in the morning feeling so unbelievably tired. Feeling that way all day, I get home and need a nap, the cycle continues. I then spend Saturday lethargic, by Sunday evening I'm feeling better, then come Monday it all begins again.

Can anyone help, know what this is about? I honestly don't feel like this is living at all. Does anyone else experience this?

It could be toxic overload, involving high cortisol levels due to stress as produces free radicals and ketones, so basically a stress induced hangover that many people on the spectrum suffer from.

So drinking plenty of water (i.e., at least two litres a day), eating a good daily proportion of green vegetables containing glutathione (such as), taking activated charcoal capsules with your main meals (such as), and using detox bath products once or twice a week (such as).