Moving house

Hello everyone, 

Just wondering if anyone has ever been in a similar situation? I still live at home with my mum and the past few years have become increasingly difficult for her to keep the family home going especially considering I can't contribute as I am one of the 78% of unemployed people with autism. Anyway she was sadly forced into selling and today we finally moved. I left behind the only home I have ever known (we lived abroad for about 5 years when I was very young but kept the house and rented it out). I've really been dreading it all happening and kind of hoped in some distant fairytale land that some how it wouldn't happen. But now it has and I've struggled so much today. I've been crying every few minutes and I am NOT a crier. Ever. I'm just really really struggling with it all. I'm guessing my ASD and the whole resistance to change thing is playing a part here but I feel like such a wally. People move house all the time and its really not a big deal. I know my friends and family are there for me but I don't feel like I can really talk to them about how much I hate this because there are so many very much worse things in the world. Don't get me wrong, I fully understand, especially given the last year, that things could be a lot worse and I am very grateful for what I do have. I also know that in time it will get easier and I just need to get used to it all but at the moment I'm struggling to see past it all. I spent the majority of my 30 years in that house with the same neighbours, the same everything. And because mum was forced into selling she had to find somewhere quick so our new house is far from ideal and neither of us are particularly excited by the prospect. 

Has anyone else ever struggled with having to move house? 

Sophie 

Parents
  • There are a load of memories that a major transition like this will unearth and from appearances, they 'feel' attached to a location & things. I would expect anyone to feel a type of trauma associated with this kind of change. Best to allow yourself to go through it: cry through it & cry it out - this is a biological function of grieving and it's important to allow this to happen. Time is a resource that is scarce and it is Time you have invested in that environment. It will always feel like a home.

    It's important to not dismiss yourself just now. You do not have to live someone else's life, you must live yours. And in context, our experiences are unique, they are not comparable or a matter of competition.

    When you're ready, perhaps you can find ways of inventing a new environment, maybe something you never thought of. Maybe you could explore new colours or a new light shade. Everything has it's advantage. I used to write in notebooks through all the change and transitions I was forced to go through. Self-help books are written for NTs on this, it is human and animal and instinct to burrow into a dwelling and... dwell :) 

Reply Children
  • I've been through it a couple of times, and each move brought its own set of challenges. Packing up all your stuff, saying goodbye to the old place, and diving into a whole new neighborhood can be overwhelming. But hey, you're definitely not alone in this struggle! Many of us have faced the same situation, so don't worry too much. Honestly, what helped me cope with moving was finding little things to look forward to in the new place. Exploring the local cafés, parks, and meeting new neighbors made it feel more exciting than scary. By the way, I recently moved to a new condo at Lentor Central [link removed by Moderator], and it's been a blast getting to know the area!