Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm just wondering has anyone ever thought they have done both of these at any time in their lives ?
I often read on here that it is usually females that internalise whereas males mostly mask. Is this correct ?
Looking back, I feel I have done both. I am male. I know there are males here who have said they internalise
and others I suspect have had the same experience. Perhaps far more than care to admit due to the stereo-typing
that it's only likely to be females who internalise ? In any case, isn't the outcome and diagnoses the same at the end of the day ?
I.e Exhaustion ?
What is your experience ?
I'm male at birth but feel rather more non-binary/androgynous than male at heart - so ... analyse/categorise this as best one can
I also both internalise and mask.
I definitely do the 'copy and paste' thing of working out how people respond and doing my best to fit in, within reason. I don't mind being a bit different at times - situations depending. If I need to mask to protect myself from danger (rough neighbourhoods and all that), I'll definitely mask, for example. At work, I'll try and mask a fair old bit (a lot?).
At home, I internalise a lot. I have loads of self-harm scars from lots of internalisation. I'll also try and ensure I process things internally and try to understand things to find peace. Which I would call a kind of internalisation(?)
There are a fair heap of guys I know (particularly from uni time) who internalised and self-harmed, so I wouldn't think it's a female-only thing.
I sympathise with you. It must be very difficult to just be yourself and even more so as we tend to analyse and categorise to the extreme which can be so unhealthy. Do you have a support/friend network ?
I'm working on it :) I have a small group of friends who have been a great support over the winter. They live a long way away each of them, so this Spring/Summer, I'm working on finding a group of friends within travelling distance.
It takes a lot of energy for some of us to establish a new friends group, especially at the current time - but I guess I have a natural drive to be social, which helps :)
I've been happily pestering the local Mind organisation here about adding me to the opportunities that are going at the moment - volunteering, digital support, outdoor activity groups. That's starting to help. I'm also pushing myself a touch to be bold and to keep communicating, invite people to meet up (if they wish) and stuff like that. Trying to give myself plenty of opportunity of getting two or three friends going in the county I'm in.