Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm just wondering has anyone ever thought they have done both of these at any time in their lives ?
I often read on here that it is usually females that internalise whereas males mostly mask. Is this correct ?
Looking back, I feel I have done both. I am male. I know there are males here who have said they internalise
and others I suspect have had the same experience. Perhaps far more than care to admit due to the stereo-typing
that it's only likely to be females who internalise ? In any case, isn't the outcome and diagnoses the same at the end of the day ?
I.e Exhaustion ?
What is your experience ?
I do both. I used to be a very heavy masker in my 'old life' pre-diagnosis, it didn't go well because I am not very good at it. These days I have very limited social interaction, I don't mask with my close friends, but in the rare occasions where I have to meet neurotypicals I don't know, I automatically start masking - it's a fear based response.
I tend to internalise until such a point where I have a massive meltdown followed by a depressive episode.
In my experience, females tend to mask more, and males tend to be more open with their autism, because eccentric behaviour is more socially acceptable in males.
Here, in Rural Ireland, even men aren't allowed to be eccentric. We're branded 'Not Wise'.
I can mask up to a certain level. But thinking of issues, such as the things my cleaner told her gran did and said, would make me giddy.