Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm just wondering has anyone ever thought they have done both of these at any time in their lives ?
I often read on here that it is usually females that internalise whereas males mostly mask. Is this correct ?
Looking back, I feel I have done both. I am male. I know there are males here who have said they internalise
and others I suspect have had the same experience. Perhaps far more than care to admit due to the stereo-typing
that it's only likely to be females who internalise ? In any case, isn't the outcome and diagnoses the same at the end of the day ?
I.e Exhaustion ?
What is your experience ?
I do both depending on the situation. I internalised so much that I developed a serious health problem from the stress. Masking is simpler but more tiring working on 3 levels - public side, real side - and a third system translating between the two systems - quick route to burn-out.
I'm sorry to hear that. Do you have any advice for others ?
Yes - understand yourself as early as possible and take a life path that makes you happy - regardless of earning potential or criticism - or you will struggle your whole life.
I would tend to agree with that, I do love my kids but just feel like a failure as a parent all the time.
If I had my time over I probably shouldn't have got married or bought a house or had a child - the stress and responsibility is more than I can take - I should have just done my nerdy, specialist jobs, earned loads of cash and bought all the toys I wanted.- like a DeTomaso Pantera.
A step further than that, I probably might have done well in a place where they looked after me - just let me build models and play with trains.
It's good advice. I have thought about that for a long time and got nowhere but somehow been drawn back to thinking about this reply at various points today. What would you have done differently ?