Relationship adivce to meeting new poeple in person

I feel like i my mind and myself are kinda misreading people and i had a situation at costa last year where i wanted to try and well get to know someone alot better as she seemed very ncie but i dodn't want to do it at same time. I feel i am ready to start proper dating. howerver i dont want to ruin anything and having autisim really pits people off i think.

The costa worker was called person A. really kind, sweet and friendly. good looks ngl but i never managed to get into a propere convo nor even asked anything. i think she left costa tbh as not seen her there so far. I went in yesterday and saw a costa worker called Person B. got into a convo with her with my mate enjoyed it. but i instantly felt i want to actually propely sit down and talk with her you know. but unsure about it.

I have copied that from a post i made somewhere else befor i found this fourm. 

Edit: didn't fully read the rules to start with. Person A was a person from last year person B is recent person

Parents
  • Hi

    I've mentioned this many times before on here - 1 to 1 dating is incredibly hard - so many ways to screw up with someone you don't actually know yet.

    You're better off looking at all your childhood hobbies and things you enjoyed doing and then finding the grown-up version of it - all the people there will be on your wavelength and it will be easier to make friends - no ice to break!

    From there, you're more likely to meet a wider circle where there could be someone special for you.  Smiley

  • the sims relationship sort of thing right? 
    thing i got is reall 3 main mates. my best friend and her BF then my other best friend. well these are actually my proper friends. helped me when i needed them and never ignored me when my mental health was low. 
    i enjoy building models a a kid and still do. i also enjoy tanks which i still do. i also enjoy roleplay which i do online. i think i gonna find that hard tbh finding grown up versions. 

  • There's loads of options with models - RC clubs, engineering clubs, train clubs, Lego clubs - and are you talking about RC tanks?    The 1/16 Heng Long type?    There's a whole thing about those - they set up military modelling get-togethers where the ones with rescue tanks recover others from puddles (lakes) or rough terrain.      There's also the 1/14th off-road truck guys and there's always Airfix / plasitc models (IPMS) or even RC boats & cars

    I've just built a squadron of 12 aircraft to keep me busy for a few months.     I'm just about to start the old 1970s Airfix HMS Victory and a Trumpeter 1/35 Challenger II MBT.

    Toleplay - are you kidding - there's live D&D groups, TORM historic re-enactment faires and there's all sorts of comic-Cons etc.

    What's your thing?

  • I don't know if you've ever noticed that people into models, plane museums, history, technology, RC stuff, computers etc. etc. are almost always on the spectrum - they are all enjoying their childhood hobbies as grown-ups  Smiley  

    Their families are all used to dealing with ASD people. Smiley

  • i am now confuused.

  • Yes - but they are almost all ASD too - nice people so you'll fit in - and it's the wider circle that is interesting.       I get to meet wives and kids of the guys I'm with - and additionally, all those families are used to model-maker's weirdness.  Smiley

  • i see where you are coming from now. thing is my hobby of model building is more of a male dominated area mostly over 30yrs of age sort of thing. 

  • That's why I suggest getting out and finding people into the same stuff as you - they will have friends and family that you will bump into - and because they already know of you and all your interests, you will have already been pre-filtered and approved.

  • I know. but the right person wont magiclly turn up on my door step

  • You might want someone but you need the *right* person - random people may have nothing in common with you.

  • there very low chances in that but who knows. if it impressive peoplw keep it. i een incosta today and i did get into a slight convosation with a member of there team. it was only about cups lol. i been sat in college just thinking. im 20 yrs old im 21 soon i just need someone

  • My friend's layout was massive - worth a fortune - he moved out in his 20s and it was still there.    

    I lost contact with him many years ago when he moved to another country. 

    His parents eventually died so I've no idea if the layout was left up there when the house was sold.      

  • sounds like a perfect setup tbh. 

  • My local engineering club are into steam - and the club has access to a huge permanent multi-gauge layout.     My wife has a few of the large Lego train sets.

    The last time I was into trains was when a very rich friend of mine had a massive layout that took up the whole loft of a big house - 3 perimeter ring tracks all around the loft with all sorts of sidings and shunting yards - we built all sorts of scenery like mountains and tunnels - back when I was a child.

  • i lost intreast as i felt like i was being controlled by my hobby in trains. use to have a model railway but never allowed a permanet layout and was told what i can and cant have. told not to get modern trains. i felt it wasn't mine at times and that how i lost intreasts. and the local model railway group I no longer can find. 

  • Now this is the trick most ASD people miss - you say you're no longer interested in trains - but would that stop you joining the club and meeting people there?    You already have the knowledge to talk to them on their level - instant friends.   That might lead to going with people to other places.

    I'd like to get into FPV aircraft - not drones - I want to fly from the pilot's seat - so RC can be fun too.

    RC tanks and smaller models fit into a backpack for easy travelling on a bus.

  • there use to be a model rail one but i no longer intreasted in them. but i do a google search

    so it mostly RC models. i dpenad on buses. and within a certain radius of my buss pass

  • You're being too specific - just look for model clubs.    how mobile are you?   How far can you travel easily?

  • so i have just removed social groups and choose hobbie groups and there is 0. 

Reply Children
  • I don't know if you've ever noticed that people into models, plane museums, history, technology, RC stuff, computers etc. etc. are almost always on the spectrum - they are all enjoying their childhood hobbies as grown-ups  Smiley  

    Their families are all used to dealing with ASD people. Smiley

  • i am now confuused.

  • Yes - but they are almost all ASD too - nice people so you'll fit in - and it's the wider circle that is interesting.       I get to meet wives and kids of the guys I'm with - and additionally, all those families are used to model-maker's weirdness.  Smiley

  • i see where you are coming from now. thing is my hobby of model building is more of a male dominated area mostly over 30yrs of age sort of thing. 

  • That's why I suggest getting out and finding people into the same stuff as you - they will have friends and family that you will bump into - and because they already know of you and all your interests, you will have already been pre-filtered and approved.

  • I know. but the right person wont magiclly turn up on my door step

  • You might want someone but you need the *right* person - random people may have nothing in common with you.

  • there very low chances in that but who knows. if it impressive peoplw keep it. i een incosta today and i did get into a slight convosation with a member of there team. it was only about cups lol. i been sat in college just thinking. im 20 yrs old im 21 soon i just need someone

  • My friend's layout was massive - worth a fortune - he moved out in his 20s and it was still there.    

    I lost contact with him many years ago when he moved to another country. 

    His parents eventually died so I've no idea if the layout was left up there when the house was sold.      

  • sounds like a perfect setup tbh. 

  • My local engineering club are into steam - and the club has access to a huge permanent multi-gauge layout.     My wife has a few of the large Lego train sets.

    The last time I was into trains was when a very rich friend of mine had a massive layout that took up the whole loft of a big house - 3 perimeter ring tracks all around the loft with all sorts of sidings and shunting yards - we built all sorts of scenery like mountains and tunnels - back when I was a child.

  • i lost intreast as i felt like i was being controlled by my hobby in trains. use to have a model railway but never allowed a permanet layout and was told what i can and cant have. told not to get modern trains. i felt it wasn't mine at times and that how i lost intreasts. and the local model railway group I no longer can find. 

  • Now this is the trick most ASD people miss - you say you're no longer interested in trains - but would that stop you joining the club and meeting people there?    You already have the knowledge to talk to them on their level - instant friends.   That might lead to going with people to other places.

    I'd like to get into FPV aircraft - not drones - I want to fly from the pilot's seat - so RC can be fun too.

    RC tanks and smaller models fit into a backpack for easy travelling on a bus.

  • there use to be a model rail one but i no longer intreasted in them. but i do a google search

    so it mostly RC models. i dpenad on buses. and within a certain radius of my buss pass

  • You're being too specific - just look for model clubs.    how mobile are you?   How far can you travel easily?