• Replies 24 replies
  • Subscribers 88 subscribers
  • Views 5273 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

"Just be yourself"

SunsetBrush

One of the hardest things I've found is to truly feel comfortable in social situations. You could attribute this to my Aspergers, social anxiety or just being a shy person in general - I'm not sure what the exact reason is, but real life friendships seem hard to forge.

I think I'm stuck assuming the worst - I know I'm a very introverted geeky person, with many aspects that "the real world" would find strange. I spend most of my time online, I'm bisexual and have a long distance boyfriend in Chicago, I'm part of the brony/furry communities, I love to embrace my feminine side. Yet when I meet strangers irl, or even in the workplace, I feel like I have to hide these things to avoid judgement.

I've gotten better about it - I've travelled the world, been to conventions and made a lot of online connections into a physical thing. I've tried to be more open about who I am once I got through education. I've met so many accepting and loving people. But there's still a grip it has on me, and I can't help but feel how many social opportunities I've missed out on.

Does anyone else feel similar?

Parents

  • I find it really hard to not feel sad about all the social situations that have gone wrong. The friends who weren't friends. The times I have embarrassed myself. I can feel like a complete failure.

    I'm trying to look at my life as finding my niche. That I am different, but that I am okay. 

    Trying to feel that the small number of friends that I have is enough for life to be okay. And that has helped working on that.

    I don't think I can be myself most of the time, but I can be close enough for me to feel that I am still me. And that when I have time out from everyone, I can be just myself. It can be hard though.

Reply

  • I find it really hard to not feel sad about all the social situations that have gone wrong. The friends who weren't friends. The times I have embarrassed myself. I can feel like a complete failure.

    I'm trying to look at my life as finding my niche. That I am different, but that I am okay. 

    Trying to feel that the small number of friends that I have is enough for life to be okay. And that has helped working on that.

    I don't think I can be myself most of the time, but I can be close enough for me to feel that I am still me. And that when I have time out from everyone, I can be just myself. It can be hard though.

Children
  • in reply to mrs.snooks

    I have similar thought patterns, so I emphasize. Something I try to remind myself is that I'm not alone, even in social struggles. I try to think about how I judge others in social situations and their failures - I'm very accepting of people and so I hope and expect others can be the same. We're too worried about ourselves to waste time judging others. You're not the failure you perceive yourself to be.