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7 Yr Old, Won't go back to school

Turtle

Hi, Has anyone else had trouble getting their kids back to school after lockdown ? My 7 yr old  ( ASD ) nephew is refusing. His Mum has tried staying with him for a awhile at the school but he won't let her leave. He has attachment issues with his Mum and he has never liked school. He doesn't even like talking about it. 

Has anyone had a similar experience or have you any tips that maybe worked for you ?

Thanks.

Parents

  • He probably feels unsafe at school, so he attaches to his mom as a source of comfort. He won't let his mom leave so she stays with him, but she has other priorities like probably work and things like that. Attachment issues is because of the fear of abandonment, and he seems to feel like his mom is going to go away and might not return, which is a scary for any child in an uncomfortable environment.

    There's a nice way to ease him into school, and it is to make him aware that he's going to be okay at school (which is an uncomfortable environment for him at the moment), that his mother is going to return, and to have something or someone at school that captures his interest (that's only at school and not at home), that makes school special, and something to look forward too. 

    There's also a tough-love way to do this too, in which the parent just leaves the child at school, and the child will cry for some time, but then the parent always returns after school to pick the child up, and after several days to a week this becomes a routine, and the child just expects to go to school after awhile. This is what my parents did, but I would say that they're emotionally distant type of people, and in my opinion it's probably not the best solution, and it's better to build secure attachments and trust between parent and child. 

  • in reply to Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
    Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia said:
    and to have something or someone at school that captures his interest (that's only at school and not at home), that makes school special, and something to look forward too. 

    That's good advice. I'm just struggling to think of who/what that could be. 

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